An 1865 manual for confession
Continuation of the confessor’s guide questions, which are more porno than the expected replies. Don’t look at me! I didn’t write it. Fray Sebastian de Totanes prepared it and the Franciscans printed the thing.
418. Na capanaguinip ca caya nang mahalai?
418. Did you have obscene dreams?
419. Nang maguising cana, ano? Pinanimdim mong tiquis yaong mahalai na panaguinpan, at quinalogdan mo? Cun iniuacsi mo’t, linabanan mong tambing?
419. And upon waking, did you linger over an obscene dream and enjoy it, or were elated by it? Or did you try hard to fight it and end it?
420. Nag auit ca caya nang manga mahahalai na auit, cun pinaquingan mo caya?
420. Did you sing vulgar songs or listen to them?
421. At palaman caya sa loob mo ang manga gayong mahahalai na auit, at quinalologuran mong tiquis?
421. And do you keep in your heart those indecent songs and delight in them?
422. Mey sinolohan cang tauo sa anomang gaua mong mahalay, cun sinolohan ca nang iba?
422. Did you intentionally manage to be alone with someone for any lewd act? Have you been lured for the same purpose by someone?
423. Ay at napasolohan ca? Mey manga asaua caya ang pinagsolohanan mo?
423. The one who did, was he/she with you alone? And married?
424. Anong pagcasolohan? Naguin sugosugoan ca; cun manhahatol; cun mapaghatir caya; cun ano caya ang pagsisirbi mo sa canila?
424. What kind of privacy! You became an errand boy, an accomplice, a go-between! How have you become such a tool?
425. Nagpataon ca caya sa manga naaalaman mong lanlong magcalunya? At ang bahay mopa ang pinaglalaonan nila? Pinaalis mona? Cun sinabi mo caya sa Pare; nang houag cayo nila mapacasama?
Tell the priest
425. Did you allow yourself to be used by couples in an illicit relationship? Did they use your house for those purposes? Have you by now sent those individuals away from your home? Why did you not tell the priest so that you would not get involved?
426. Nagpacabuti ca caya sa catauan mo? Anong sarhia mo doon? Maca nang pitahin ca sa masama? Opan, nagpapuri ca lamang, at nagparangalan?
426. Were you good to your body? What did you hope to gain from it? Did you desire so much for something evil in order to gain praise or renown?
427. Naquihalo ca cayang naquipaligo sa di capoua mo lalaqui, cun sa di capua mo babaye? Ano’t, di casalanan iyan, at panganib na malaqui sa pagcacasala niniyo sa P. Dios sa pagpapanimdim, at pagnanasa man lamang, cun cayong manga lalaqui,t, babaye, na halos manga hobo din, ay magtitinginan doon sa paghohobar, sa paliligo, at sa inyong pag ahon sa tubig, at pagdaramit?
427. Did you bathe with those who were not fellow males and were females? That is dangerous—a big offense against God, especially if the males and females are naked and you watched as they disrobed and emerged out of the water or while they were dressing? (Nota bene: Does this refer to the mineral water hot baths found all over the Philippines in the 1800s?)
428. Cun sinompong ca nang masasamang pita’t, caibigan ng catauan mo tongcol sa cahalayan, ay ano baga, pinanimdim, at quinalologdan mong tiquis, cun pinagpipilitan mong iuacsi’t, labanan?
428. When you suddenly got the urge to do something shameful with your body, did you encourage such a longing? Or did you try your best to stop it?
429. Di mo dating naaalaman, na cun tiquis mong pinanimdim, at quinalogdan ang manga gayong mahahalai na sompong, sasangquisap man la mang nang mata mo ay casalanan ding daquila?
429. Did you not know that if you indulged in such indecent thoughts and urges, even if just for the wink of an eye, it is already a sin of the highest order?
430. At doon sa horas nang gayong pagpapanimdim mo, mey guinaua ca caya sa catauan moanomang mahalai na gaua?
430. And what did you do at the time you felt it? Did you do anything indecent to your body?
431. Cun ano caya yaong gaua mo? Dinama, cun hinipo mo caya ang cabahagui mo, at pinaglaroan?
431. What was it? Did you feel or touch that part of you and toy with it?
432. At nilabasan ang catauan mo nang marumi? Macailan (n.’ 367.)
432. And did a dirty substance come out of your body? How many times?
433. At doon sa horas na yaon, mey pinagnasaan cang babaye? Mey asaaua siya, cun camaganac mo caya?
433. And at that instance did you crave for a woman? Is she married or is she your relative?
434. Ang catauan mo, cun ang catauan caya nang iba, ay guinamot mo, cun pinacaen, cun pinainum mo cayang tiquis nang anomang icasolong lamang nang calibugan?
434. And did you feed your body or somebody else’s body with a drug or drink in order to heighten libido?
435. Cun mey naringig cang pagtatauag sa simbahan sa alin mang pag aasaua, at naalamanmodin ang di sucat icapag asaua nila, magcano man ang pag calihim nang harlang, ay sinabi mo caya sa Pare nang houag cang maramay sa canilang casalanan?
435. And when you hear church announcements of marriage bans, if you know something that makes the couple unfit to marry, no matter how much they try to hide it, did you tell the priest so that you would not be involved in their guilt?
436. Toui cang sompongin (anac co) nang gayong manga mahahalay na sompong ay magdalita ca, at pagsaquetan mong agar pauiin, iuacsing tambing, at labanan; houag mong tiquis panimdimin sa sangquisap man lamang . Paampon ca sa Dios, crusan mo ang catauan mo, at patolong ca sa mahal na Virgen. Mag ingat, at matacot ca sa Dios na caharap mo doon; at bagaman dinalita ca niya hangan ngayon, anong naaalaman mo cundaralitain capa? Macapal na macapal na tauo ang mga iniubos pinacasama nang P. Dios sa infierno doon din sa canilang catouaan, paglalaro, at calogurang mahalai; tinambingan din sila nang huling hatol nang P. Dios, pinisanan doon din, at naholog ngani sa infierno mag parating saan. Aba mo, cun maguin cabilang ca nila sa ualan hanga?
436. Each time you have the urge, my child, for such sinful thoughts, end it forthwith, suffer it, take great pains to banish it immediately! Do not relish the thought even for the wink of an eye.
Ask to be protected, make the sign of the cross and seek the help of the Blessed Mother.
Be careful and fearful of the Lord whom you will have to face. And even if he has, until now, made you suffer, who knows he will not make you suffer still?
The crowd in hell is thick with those whom he has banished for their never-ending pleasures and playing and perversions. They have been given the final sentence by God and have fallen into hell to be forever there. Imagine if you were counted among those for all eternity?