Quantcast
Latest Stories

Emily’s Post

Single mom pregnant with his child–what to do?

By

DEAR EMILY,

I am a 29-year-old male working abroad. I met a Filipina in the company I work in. She is a single mother with two daughters. She is hiding that from everyone and she doesn’t know that I know.

At first, that was a complete turn-off for me, but before I knew it, we were already dating. The thought of her being a single mom could not keep me away from her because not only is she good in bed, we can also talk and laugh all day when we’re together.

Lately, I found out that she is pregnant and due this December. My plan was only to use her for sex (since I never had a girlfriend when I started working abroad), then run. Now I cannot exit from this relationship.

My problem is, I cannot accept the son she is carrying. I cannot accept that my eldest child is actually her youngest. She wants me to raise the child by myself (probably because she can’t raise three children anymore). I am not proud of the child and I don’t want it. But I can’t also bear to give her the burden of raising another child.

MC

Seems you’re a nice man, by thinking you don’t want to burden this woman with raising another child. Yet, you also come out not nice—most especially when you say you’re not proud of the child and that you don’t want it. Can you please define who and what exactly you are?

If it were only sex you’re interested in, why didn’t you protect yourself from this eventuality? Didn’t you know that babies come from having sex, wanted or not? Unless she aborts very, very soon, you must already plan something for him. But why go that route?

Pity the poor child because neither you nor the mother seems to want any part of him. Have you thought about having the boy adopted? That is a fantastic option. There are so many unfortunate couples dying to bring up unwanted babies, given the chance. Would you consider a gift of life to them?

You’ll also have a problem marrying this woman because, despite the great sex, good conversation and laughter you enjoy with her, there will always be this feeling of being turned off by her—a single mother with two kids not your own. You might not even outgrow this vision of a virginal-never-been-touched-woman, and clearly, this mother of two will never be good enough for you.

Unless you embrace what she is and not what she should have been, love her warts and all, and be content at how happy you are when you’re with her, this worm of regret will keep on burrowing inside your thoughts. And these unbridled images can be nasty.

The final decision will only come from you. And the question you should be asking is: What can you live with, without regrets?

E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.


Follow Us


Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter


Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Tags: advice column , Emily’s Post , love and relationship , single mom

  • titotaba

    MC, i fully understand your predicament, and why you feel like that. It is because of your immaturity towards a relationship. You enjoy her company as well as sex with her but you can’t accept for now that you may already be loving her. Think for the benefit of the child. Raise him or her. Your parents would be happy to do that for you. I know you could financially support him. In the end, I know you will long for the mother’s company that you have shared and will eventually look for her. In the meantime, just think of your child’s benefit.

  • http://markpogi0121.blogspot.com/ mark pogi

    MC: You got NO BALLS man!

  • Pepe_Tan

    Pakapon ka na lang muna ‘adre. Para kahit mapudpod ang manoy mo sa kakakadyot eh makakatulog ka ng mahimbing sa gabi. Mahawa ka sana ng AIDS sa kakatihan mo. Kawawa naman yung bata. Ano kaya ang iisipin nya pag nalaman nya na ayaw sa kanya ng mga magulang nya.

  • JosengSisiw1

    you should stick your_dick in front of your head so you might be able to think before using it.,

  • eight_log

    You are all dick … no brains!!! IF YOU HAVE NO BRAINS >>>> USE YOUR HANDS!!!! Marami dyan ang umasenso sa ganyang paraan!!!



Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
Advertisement
  1. Are your favorite malls open this Holy Week break?
  2. ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  3. This is not just a farm
  4. Why is the lifestyle set now afraid to wear jewelry–before Kim Henares?
  5. Clams and garlic, softshell crab risotto–not your usual seafood fare for Holy Week
  6. Are your favorite malls open this Holy Week?
  7. Sarah Geronimo and Matteo Giudicelli sing ‘All of Me’–and we all swoon
  8. 12 other things you can do at Pico de Loro Cove
  9. Moist, extra-tender blueberry muffins
  10. The truffled mac ‘n’ cheese, eggs benedict, chicken leg confit are excellent
  1. Dominique–Gretchen and Tonyboy Cojuangco’s daughter–now an endorser
  2. Why is the lifestyle set now afraid to wear jewelry–before Kim Henares?
  3. Marcos grandson to wed beautiful Rocha scion
  4. Sarah Geronimo and Matteo Giudicelli sing ‘All of Me’–and we all swoon
  5. Are your favorite malls open this Holy Week break?
  6. How Vitamin B can be a remedy for ‘manhid’ and neuropathy
  7. France makes work beyond 6 p.m. illegal
  8. Ever heard of HydroBob?
  9. 90 percent of Filipino households don’t practice proper toilet hygiene, sanitation
  10. Boots Anson-Roa to wed in Eddie Baddeo
  1. Mary Jean Lastimosa is new Miss Universe Philippines
  2. Did Angara ruin Pia Wurtzbach’s chances at Bb. Pilipinas?
  3. Dominique–Gretchen and Tonyboy Cojuangco’s daughter–now an endorser
  4. Manila in shock over model Helena Belmonte’s death
  5. Vinegar test helpful vs cervical cancer
  6. From Jeannie to mom of suicide victim
  7. San Vicente beaches hidden but not for long
  8. Borgy and Georgina are back; others are off–again
  9. Sen. Angara: I thought Pia Wurtzbach gave a good answer
  10. Why is the lifestyle set now afraid to wear jewelry–before Kim Henares?

News

  • Anti-gay demo in Ethiopia cancelled
  • Obama launches measures to support solar energy in US
  • Nebraska toddler gets stuck inside claw machine
  • Philippine eagle rescued by Army turned over to DENR
  • Gunmen attack Iraq military base, kill 10 soldiers
  • Sports

  • Vietnam says it will not host Asian Games
  • Nadal passes clay landmark with 300th victory
  • Wawrinka waltzes through with Monte Carlo walkover
  • Power Pinays smash India in Asian Women’s Club volleyball opener
  • PH youth boxers off to stumbling start in AIBA World tilt
  • Lifestyle

  • Ford Mustang turns 50 atop Empire State Building
  • Pro visual artists, lensmen to judge Pagcor’s photo contest
  • ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  • This is not just a farm
  • Clams and garlic, softshell crab risotto–not your usual seafood fare for Holy Week
  • Entertainment

  • Cannes film festival launches race for 2014 Palme d’Or
  • Jones, Godard, Cronenberg in competition at Cannes
  • Will Arnett files for divorce from Amy Poehler
  • American rapper cuts own penis, jumps off building
  • Jay Z to bring Made in America music fest to LA
  • Business

  • Total says makes ‘very promising’ oil find off Ivory Coast
  • ‘Chinese Twitter’ firm Weibo to go public in US
  • World stocks subdued, Nikkei flat on profit taking
  • Asia stocks fail to match Wall Street gains
  • Fired Yahoo exec gets $58M for 15 months of work
  • Technology

  • Netizens seethe over Aquino’s ‘sacrifice’ message
  • Filipinos #PrayForSouthKorea
  • Taylor Swift tries video blogging, crashes into fan’s bridal shower
  • DOF: Tagaytay, QC best at handling funds
  • Smart phone apps and sites perfect for the Holy Week
  • Opinion

  • Editorial cartoon, April 17, 2014
  • A humbler Church
  • Deepest darkness
  • ‘Agnihotra’ for Earth’s health
  • It’s the Holy Week, time to think of others
  • Global Nation

  • Malaysia quarantines 64 villagers over MERS virus
  • DFA: 2 Filipinos survive Korean ferry disaster
  • PH asks airline passengers to check for MERS
  • Syria most dangerous country for journalists, PH 3rd—watchdog
  • Japan says visa-free entry still a plan
    Marketplace