Crab mentality is not just for crabs | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

BLURB

The rule of the mob is alive and well.  I thought that public lynching was a thing of the past

 

 

 

 

At a gathering the other day, a well-respected member of our community was asked to speak. Aside from the many nuggets of wisdom he shared, he spoke about things that annoy him, and why they do.

 

It brought to mind our old-fashioned slam books in school. There was a section for “pet peeves.”

 

Top of his list were jeepney drivers who load and unload passengers in the middle of the street. We can all relate.

 

He talked about garbage and wondered why it is still a surprise that floods hit the same areas every time it rains.

 

I made a mental note. After so many calamities, have we changed our lifestyles? Do we recycle our refuse? Do we still use plastic? Aren’t we part of the problem?

 

The speaker continued. He commented on people who seek counsel and seem to listen to his admonitions.

 

“But the drama in their lives continues because they don’t change their ways. And they come to me crying that my advice does not work. They want to see different results but keep doing the same thing. That is insanity.”

 

He was visibly grieved.

 

Remembering

 

In my teens I was aggravated by classmates who paraded like peacocks when they made the honor roll; by rich kids who bragged about their H. Alonso shoes and looked down their noses at our ESCO uniform black “sensible” shoes. I swear they were indestructible. To get a new pair, we had to outgrow the old ones.

 

In later years my children wore Gregg shoes all the way to high school. Those were the most durable school shoes in the market, and they were not bad-looking, either.

 

Does Gregg still operate out of the old house on N. Domingo in San Juan? The last time I visited it was to see Lila Almario and order a pair of dressy high heels for a wedding. I was ushered into her office on one side of the Gregorio residence. That was a whole lifetime ago. I haven’t worn heels in ages.

 

It was a treat to see Lila all grown and glamorous carrying on the family tradition with her own line of fine classy footwear. I knew her as a child. She was the apple of her father’s eye.

 

Jun was our sports editor at the Chronicle. He and Benjie Defensor had desks next to the society section. We had fun putting our pages to bed, waiting for the proofs while we listened to music at the Press Club or ate balut on the seawall near Manila Hotel. It felt good to be one of the boys.

 

I saw Benjie’s pretty daughter Tet at a restaurant on Mother’s Day. She has her dad’s sweet bright smile. I first met her as a baby and then recently online. Today she is an accomplished writer.

 

I say it again, time flies. And happily, so do the cares and heartaches that were earthshaking way back then.

 

Do I have more peeves now that I am a super senior? Am I an irritable or an irritating lola? Have I, hopefully, become more tolerant about what once used to drive me up a wall? They say that age mellows you, that it softens the rough edges. Really?

 

My list

 

I avoid going to malls where the blaring music competes with the din from amusement arcades.

 

I get upset when I see drawers that are even slightly ajar when I go to bed. No matter how sleepy I am, I get up and shut them.

 

Chewing gum is crude and ugly.

 

Yapping dogs annoy me. So do cats going at it late at night.

 

People my age are a little (?) hard of hearing. Why do young people mumble?

 

Have you noticed how some otherwise well-bred ladies (and gents) must tell you when they have to go to the bathroom and why? Who wants to know?

 

It bothers me to see parents spoil their children. It is difficult to keep silent.

 

I bristle over the lack of respect of young people for their elders. Who raised them?

 

Vexation or anger

 

There are times when my aggravation is more than just a moment’s displeasure and comes pretty close to anger.

 

Merriam Webster says that vexation (another word for irritation) is the act of making unwelcome intrusions upon another; the feeling of impatience or anger caused by another’s disagreeable acts.

 

This is not quite an accurate description of what comes over me when faced with the gall of people who shamelessly demand the recognition and respect they have yet to earn.

 

When I hear the empty and senseless statements from politicians or their minions, I start a slow boil. If they smell a sound bite in the air they run off at the mouth, a mile a minute, never mind that nothing they say remotely resembles the truth. I avoid their “praise releases” like the plague.

 

I am offended, revolted when I see how quickly people, some of them my friends, jump on a bandwagon, regardless of where it’s headed, as long as it is popular and out to throw dirt and destroy.

 

Friends, look around you. The rule of the mob is alive and well. I thought that public lynching was a thing of the past. Not so. Crab mentality is not just for crabs.

 

Wait a minute. What happened to my list of pet peeves? This was meant to be a light-hearted recitation of things that bother me. I got carried away!

 

Seriously, I thought it would be fun, even funny. But there isn’t much to laugh about these days. Is there?

 

I guess this is just a sign of the times.

 

 

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