DEAR EMILY,
How will we know if a guy likes a girl and vice versa? Is it also possible for the guy to be in denial—meaning, he’d be mean to the object of his desire, despite what his own body language says?
JI-AN AND BARBIE
How to gauge attraction between interested individuals? You will see or feel it in how they interact toward people they’re very interested in.
Remember the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”? Some actions are communicated so overtly, so obviously, that you won’t need rocket science to understand them. It’s in plain sight.
And then the others—who are so incoherent and so opaque, you wouldn’t know whether they’re coming or going. Let them find their way.
If he’s becoming more attentive to you than usual—notices how you look, gives you compliments at every turn, is very interested in your activities, where you go when you’re not together, what you’re thinking of the very moment you’re together—these actions will give you pause and make you wonder why you’re getting all that interest from him.
Anything beyond a mere smile or a fleeting hello from anyone becomes suspect for his more than casual feelings for you.
The flip side is when he becomes rude or tries his darndest to get away from you. Either he’s not really into you, or he’s in denial, as you said, about his true feelings and is trying to put the brakes on what he truly feels about you. The lyrics from a song—“You always hurt the one you love”—comes to mind.
It’s sad that courtship in this age and time is becoming some sort of casual activity that deep feelings don’t seem to matter anymore. In many cases, love, which used to be the catalyst, is not even factored in nowadays. Any semblance of attraction is already enough incentive to go into any sexual activity.
That’s not to say, though, that courting is going to be a thing of the past. Romantics still abound everywhere, despite the bombardment of easy sex in media. Some wonderful-ness struggle to remain the same, the odds notwithstanding.
E-mail [email protected] or [email protected].
