Your mantra for the week:

“I am not a sinner, I am a winner.”

 

 

 

 

In 1999, Pope John Paul II (now Saint John Paul) announced that we must “forget the flames of fire and the devils with pitchforks,” and that heaven was not up in the clouds and hell was not a physical place either.

 

Fifteen years later, this issue has not been clarified by the Philippine Church. It is probably waiting for somebody to explain why the then Pope would give such an edict.

 

However, he explained further that hell is real but not inflicted by God, but rather something “sinners” brought unto themselves.

 

Recall that sin is an old archery term which meant missing-the-mark. It implies that sinners are not bad people, but persons whose consciousness has not been able to differentiate between good and evil.

 

Notice that if you add the letter “d” to evil, it would spell the word “devil.” The devil has been defined as an evil spirit lurking around, constantly tempting us to commit a negative act.

 

But in truth, the devil is simply the spirit of evil that is a potential within each one of us. It becomes a problem when the unenlightened gives in to this potential many times. They are bedeviled.

 

The metaphysical flames that we have been threatened with since childhood are anger, ill-will and resentment. The pitchforks are the diseases that follow the flames; they hurt like forks embedded in our physical body.

 

In other words, it is Consciousness that determines whether we experience the “Kingdom of Heaven that is at hand” or hellfire that is of our own making… “Choose ye today, God or mammon.”

 

I will now go further by stating that our “evil” deeds come most likely from our pain bodies; pain body is defined by Eckhart Tolle as the body of pain that we have built in our consciousness from the time we were conceived.

 

Take into account what your mother was going through when you were in her womb and after you were born. Add all the pain you went through physically, mentally and emotionally.

 

These make up our invisible pain body which is constantly wanting to take over our conscious life. This is why we have people whom we call evil—yes, they are “horrible,” but we must keep in mind that their pain bodies are simply calling for expression.

 

I believe that real compassion comes from understanding that no one is really “evil.” So, Saint John Paul was correct when he said, “Hell is not a geographical place and not a punishment imposed externally by God, but the condition resulting from attitudes and actions which people adopt in this life.”

 

And what is most delightful is that Pope Francis agrees with him wholeheartedly.

 

The MonaLisa Touch

 

Good news for women who are nonvirgins but want to feel that they are virgins once more. My sister Marla, who is married to an Italian and lives in Italy, recently informed me that there is now an Italian technology called MonaLisa Touch Therapy, a nonsurgical way of tightening the vagina through a laser system which does not only tighten but lubricates as well.

 

There are women who would not admit that, after a certain age and the dryness that comes with it, their sex life is no longer the same. Tightening can be done surgically but does not promise lubrication.

 

The Ashley Madison way

 

A person’s sexuality is an appetite. When it is satisfied, the person finds it much easier to live a fulfilled and joyous life. That is the reason Ashley Madison has become so popular worldwide.

Imagine the website’s tag line, “have an affair,” if you are unhappy with your present relationship.

 

The Church is now up in arms and so is Justice Secretary Leila De Lima who claims it is a form of promoting adultery which, in the Philippines, is illegal. Yes, it is included in our penal code.

 

But a lot of Filipinos are having affairs left and right with no inducement or encouragement from any website. They are all doing this out of sexual frustrations.

 

Oral, not written

 

There is a woman who gives lectures in the United States and packs up seminar halls up to a thousand people. Each lady in the audience is given a dildo, and instructed how to give oral sex properly and satisfactorily.

 

The Wall Street Journal says that this lecturer charges a mean $1,000 per person, and receives duffel bags of thank-you letters from husbands and lovers of the attendees.

 

In a country where there is no divorce, and annulment costs a fortune, and one is not inclined to marriage counseling, the only thing left is to have an affair —with or without Ashley Madison’s encouragement.

 

My way

 

But in my years of astrological counseling, I always suggest that one ask his/her partner for permission to have an affair and, if the partner agrees, it may be illegal, but at least it is honest and never goes to court. This “method” has not only fixed many marriages, it has also made them more fulfilling and satisfying.

 

When a mate asks his/her partner for permission to have an affair, it is usually followed by a big and aghast “Why?” This opens up extensive communication between partners, and if each decides to be totally open and honest, their differences are oftentimes ironed out.

 

This is done by a give-and-take in their physical, mental and emotional relations. When two people love each other and their dissatisfactions are openly discussed, a deepening of the relationship unfolds.

 

Thus, between MonaLisa, the lady lecturer’s oral instructions and my way, Ashley Madison has no chance to succeed and would finally eradicate itself. This would also resolve the Church’s objections and De Lima’s dilemma.

 

Do it with food

 

Congratulations to Dr. Efren Vasquez whose Café Juanita recently won Best Filipino Restaurant, as chosen by Elian Habayeb’s Manila’s Best Kept Restaurant Secrets.

 

The doctor-turned-restaurateur celebrated his victory with a reception at Café Juanita Kapitolyo, serving a buffet of its most popular dishes that ranged from kare-kare, deep fried lapu-lapu, kaldereta, bagnet, to its very special cassava cake, to a new dish, Doctor Junjun’s Louis XIV chocolate-crispy.

 

It also happened to be the birthday of his mother Juanita, after whom the restaurant was named.

 

I had the pleasure of meeting Habayeb and his wife Ines Cabarrus, who got married early this year after nine years of living-in; and the very interesting Chona Evangelista, who is finishing her Agutaya Paradiso resort in San Vicente, Palawan, where her daughter Pie Alvarez is mayor.

 

Another daughter of Chona, Dixie Mariñas, owns Lulu restaurant and Hooch bar in Salcedo Village which attracts people with its wild mushroom, spinach and artichokes salad, and crispy chicken wings, all created by chef Tom Hines.

 

Chona used to model in Paris, likes restoring old houses, plays tennis and has a product called From Me Tuyo, a concoction of crispy tuyo, lots of garlic and olive oil. How she maintains the crispiness of tuyo is her trade secret.