It’s a seasonal affliction like the flu. But it happens only on your birthday.
Picture this: Your natal day is coming up and your sense of frustration or uneasiness heightens. There have been typical stories of common experiences about birthdays. And the emotions they elicit from the celebrant ranges from anxiety, depression, irritability, excitement, elation, sensitivity, among others.
Disconnected
On his birthday, Bob, a top executive, is hounded by friends for a boys’ night out. Amid the chatter and the drinking, Bob’s thoughts are elsewhere. He drifts above the noise and situation into a never-never land of “what would be.”
Solitude
Just before her special day, this separated woman in her 50s shies away from people. Seeking solitude, she embarks on a short journey to someplace quiet. More often than not she is either on retreat in a monastery or books herself for a weekend alone in a sanctuary.
Glum
Where else would he go except to his favorite corner—his bedroom. It is his birthday and he is conflicted. He doesn’t know if he wants to shout or cry. Truth is, he wishes he could hide from the world for just one day.
And that day happens to be his birthday. All he cares to do is nothing. So, he curls up in bed wearing his pajamas all day. He shuts off all gadgets and communication with the outside world. He is glum and doesn’t understand why.
Changes
Many view their birthdays as a major reason to celebrate happily with family and friends. Others struggle with uncertainty or are baffled why birthdays are a big thing. The reason why many experience emotional upheavals during birthdays is simple—it is an issue about managing one’s expectations as well as an urgent call to change.
And the changes become a challenge to improve one’s career.
But while anyone is susceptible to birthday blues, there are those who actually battle mental health issues. Many can identify with this feeling of life-in-suspended animation at some level, but it is fleeting.
Some could be in denial about aging and how swift time has flown by. The usual question asked of oneself is: “Where did the time go?” And the inevitable: “What have I done with my life?”
Birthdays are reminders about many matters: unmet goals, unfinished business, unresolved conflicts, unfulfilled dreams, unrecognized blessings.
One can get too hard on the self, however. Actually, if you were to look objectively at your life, the realization that indeed there has been personal growth and triumph should be motivation enough to snap out of the blues.
It is time to make an accounting of all the goodness in your life and not the badness. In this way you choose to be up, not down, by cutting yourself enough slack. By practicing kindness to yourself, your heart is healed.
11 steps
1) Go easy on yourself. If your expectations have been set too high, then lower them to more realistic levels.
2) Stay focused on the now, not yesterday or tomorrow.
3) Plan your celebration— whether it’s with family, friends or by yourself.
4) Don’t expect somebody else to be the first one to greet you. Learn how to greet yourself before everyone else does.
5) Announce your birthday ahead of time if you want to be with people.
6) Allow your true feelings to come out. If you are missing someone you’ve lost, it’s normal to mourn. Afterward, let go.
7) Birthdays are learning experiences. Whatever emotions you’re dealing with now, there’s a special message for you.
8) Pray and meditate. It’s a good time to connect with your soul and your God.
9) Above all, forgive those who have wronged you.
10) Give thanks for another year of life.
11) Buy yourself a birthday gift.
Immense gratitude
My own birthday is on August 11. I am filled with immense gratitude for all the blessings and victories that God has given me. While life is a gift, it is also a choice. I choose to live so that I may uplift and inspire others—in the hope that you, too, may be nourished by this very same passion in life.
Birthday affirmation: “I live boldly, I love bravely.”
Love and light!
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