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When daughters become the mothers

‘Today, we have a reversal of roles. You now take care of Dad and me, and I thank you for that’
06:15 AM May 14, 2017

For Mother’s Day, I asked senior moms for special messages—expressions of love and appreciation, lessons learned and imparted, recipes for happiness—

for their daughters, now mothers themselves, and,
as such, Mothers’ Day
cocelebrators.

The bond between mother and daughter begins in their shared gender, in a fundamental sense of recognition and identification. The bond is strong enough for mom to guide daughter through the early stages of life and love, but is even stronger when daughter marries and becomes a mother herself.

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The uniqueness of the relationship doesn’t end there; it goes on and on, until the roles are completely reversed, and daughter becomes mother, nurturer, to her own mother. Thus, the magic cycle has come
full circle!

t0514other voices5Menchu Concepcion

Dearest Rica,

When I was pregnant with you, your father and I prayed for a girl, after having three boys. You cannot imagine the joy we felt when you finally came!

We felt doubly blessed because you were born on December 8, feast of the Immaculate Concepcion. We named you Maria Imaculada.

Soon you will become a grandmother yourself, thus you might find my advice antiquated, but I happen to believe it is timeless, proven and tested.

Be the foundation that keeps the family together. Make the house a home, a place your children and grandchildren will remember and cherish. Keep busy with things that interest you.

Be organized and focused on your goals. I am happy you appreciate the value of work and are taking an
active role in our family
business.

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Today, we have a reversal of roles. You now take care of Dad and me, and I thank you for that. I love you more than you know.

t0514other voices4Margie Juico

To my beloved daughters, Dinggay and Mayen:

It was a bumpy, difficult road we had to take these past months. Both of you were relentless in reminding me to have that executive checkup. I could not understand the urgency. I felt fine and did not show any symptoms. But you, my little nagging angels, persisted!

Though miles apart, you both managed to communicate. So when the results of the malignancy of polyps in my colon came out, you, together with your brothers Vincent and Joseph, agreed on an action plan. I was told one-man committees were established and roles were defined with nary a complaint.

One of you attended to the physical and emotional needs of your papa, making sure he ate on time and slept early.

While I was going through a four-hour surgery, you went to look for a suitable place for your papa and me to live in so we can be near the hospital.

You, my girls, were the pillars of strength in this time of crisis. You were in control of what you could control. I thought for a moment I was seeing myself, but realized I should not flatter myself.
I have some regrets in my life, but having you as my daughters and seeing how you have turned out is my greatest reward, for which I am forever grateful to
the Lord.

t0514other voices6Nida Hemedes-Cranbourne

Dear Loretta, Raeanna and Cheryle,

From the beginning your Dad and I made it clear—your only inheritance would be your education.

And you smart girls certainly chose the best schools you could find and went for your masters in your different fields.

It’s been a couple of years now since your Dad passed away, and every year I’ve made it a point to bond with all three of you. I’ve just come home from visiting with Supermom Loretta, Ironwoman Raeanna, and artist Cheryle.

Thank God, I’ve found my own passion, too: painting. I guess if I had to give you some advice, as life can be full of surprises, it would be to follow your heart and dreams. Be the best in everything you do and be kind to people. Pray and be thankful always.

t0514other voices3Linda Enriquez Panlilio

To my dearest daughters,

I never told you three how to be good wives and mothers. On the eve of my wedding, my mother wrote me a sentimental letter telling me she loved me and hoped I would be happy with my husband. She advised me to be a good wife, but did not tell me how to be one. Well, neither did I teach you. I thought you would best learn by example.

Now that I am old, I can only look at you and congratulate you for being better wives and mothers than I ever was.

You are both hands-on mothers, unlike myself, who, in my hurly-burly years of combining marriage with work, left you in the hands of yayas whom I merely oversaw. One thing, though, you certainly took to heart my admonition to be financially independent of your husbands, lest they take you for granted.

I had seen a few of my girlfriends who were miserable when they could not get out of a failed marriage because they needed the financial support of their spouses.
I have given you the best education so that you can earn your own keep and not have to rely on your husband’s income. Heaven forbid that you should become a doormat. Give value
to yourself.

t0514other voices1Bettina Rodriguez-Olmedo

Dear Bambi and Franjo,

The celebration of Mother’s Day calls to mind the lessons I have picked up over more than four decades of motherhood, which I’d like to pass on to you.

When we work hard and pray even harder, there is no stumbling block that we cannot surmount to make our dreams come true. You have both stood by me through my trials and celebrated my successes as though they were your own.
I experience great joy seeing how you have turned out to be caring, well-rounded individuals who have carved out your own niche in the world.

My most cherished moments are the times when you, Bambi, tell me on the phone or in a Facebook posting, “Luv u, mom.” My most precious possession to date is a note scribbled by you, Franjo, which says, “Happy birthday Mommy! Even if I may not show it often, I do love you so much!”

t0514other voices7Tootsie Vicente

My darling daughters,

At this time in our lives, mothers can get a little sentimental. Maybe because we have so much time on our hands, or are more aware of our mortality, or of time rushing by. I look at your baby photos and can hardly believe you were once so small and dependent on me, and how the roles have been reversed, and I am now the dependent one.

What can I tell you that you don’t already know? Oh yes! Forgive, forgive, forgive. Beyond reason, beyond pride, beyond logic. And then forgive some more!

Let go of the past, anticipate and welcome the future, but relish and enjoy the present. It’s really all we have, and we should make the most of it.
t0514other voices2Lina Alba Limbo

My dearest Trixie,

I welcome this opportunity to thank you for everything you have been doing for me, how closely you monitor what I eat because I’m a diabetic undergoing dialysis three times a week. Thanks to you, I don’t have to worry about anything because, aside from the 20 percent senior discount I get, you take care of everything else.

You take me to all the school programs of the
children, who I have grown even closer to since you asked me to live with you after
their father died. You used to take me everywhere until I started dialysis.

I was especially touched every time you celebrated my milestone birthdays, whether at home or in special places, and how you made sure all my closest friends would be there, how you encourage my activities at our local barangay as legal counsel, as well as my involvement with parish work. You, Patricia, are as perfect as they come!

How I love you for mothering me. Happy Mothers’ Day!

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