Your mantra for the week: “What matters most is that I love myself… and others.”

I believe that human problems are due to lack of self-acceptance as well as not having received enough love.

Self-acceptance begins with loving yourself, and when one succeeds, it is easier for others to give you the love you desire.

I have come up with 15 ways to make oneself likeable and loveable.

1) Be positive, not just in thought, but also in feeling. As the adage goes, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” One who thinks with one’s heart becomes a magnet to others who will not only like you, but will go out of their way to aid you in the pursuit of your dreams.

2) When interacting with others, get them to talk about themselves to give them a sense of importance. Most likely, they will find ways to show you their delight.

3) The way you listen is more important than the way you talk. Listening is connecting, building a form of relationship. Any relationship becomes a potential channel of your good.

4) Always be the first to greet someone you’ve met before. You can simply say, “Hi, it is nice to see you again,” with a sincere smile. Keep in mind that God answers prayers through people, events and circumstances.

5) Be full of enthusiasm. The root of enthusiasm is “entheos,” meaning “from the God within.” People will reciprocate accordingly.

6) Be a bearer of good news. Some people thrive on bad news because it makes them feel they are better-off than others. But remember that hearing “good news” is a clue that you will be the next recipient of something just as wonderful.

The next 9 tips, in next week’s column.

‘Men Who Matter’

Recently, People Asia Magazine honored 15 Filipino men who have excelled in their respective professions and served as inspiration to others who want to make a difference in their community, the country and even in the world.

Amongst these “Men Who Matter” are:

Jerry Acuzar, builder and developer of a 26-hectare heritage resort in Bagac, Bataan, the Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar.

Joseph Calata, the largest retailer and distributor of agrochemical products, feeds, fertilizers, veterinary medicines and seeds all over the country.

Jaime Ponce de Leon, the most successful art auctioneer in the country, whose success has now made him a hotelier in his hometown Dumaguete City.

Francis Libiran, whose haute couture gowns and dresses are donned by both local and international high-profile personalities.

However, the most outstanding awardees of the evening were newly appointed Ambassador to the United States Jose Manuel “Babe” Romualdez.

We got the chance to bond with Mav Rufino and Miguel Realmonte, Rene and Ann Puno with son Luis, former awardee Ito Curata with partner Bob Miller, Joanne Rae Ramirez and husband Ed, Mike Toledo, Tina and Rupert Jacinto, Tintin Bersola-Babao, and fans of the 15 awardees.

Joanne Rae Ramirez and Amb. Jose Manuel Romualdez

There are men who matter because they live lives that matter to other people. There are men who are still trying to make their lives matter, but there are many more who try to keep living no matter what, and for that matter, there are a few whose matter we wish did not exist.

Reparation

At last, after decades of being promised reparation for the violation of my human rights through no human wrong that I had committed, except for criticizing “Si Malakas at Si Maganda” who were already showing signs of becoming a “Conjugal Dictatorship,” which came to pass on September 21, 1972.

Last week, I received a Notice of Resolution that I would be duly compensated for the months I was actually incarcerated, euphemistically called detained, and the five years when I had to report to Camp Crame three times a week and could not leave Metro Manila without a written permission, and that I must stop writing for any publication and appearing on television—short of saying, please disappear.

I remember a funny incident while visiting a family business in Davao. Upon my return, I was asked by a senior official, “How was Misuari?” and I unwittingly answered, “Miss who?”

In those dark years, many detainees who were released conditionally were rearrested for not having reported as required, even if they actually reported but had no evidence to prove that they did. So, to be sure, I made the authorities sign a paper every time I reported my presence.

I did get away, however, with cowriting a script with National Artist for Film Ishmael Bernal, under the pseudonym Desi Dizon, for the screenplay to “Pito Ang Aking Asawa.” It made to the list of the 100 Best Filipino Films.

From dictator to ‘hero’

When people get paranoid about martial law, it is because Ferdinand E. Marcos’ version was a different ball game altogether. His goal, according to one of his closest cronies, was “to steal the country but would not bring out the spoils from its borders like other dictators had done.”

I was forewarned by this person in 1969 that once Marcos wins his second term, he would never let go of his power, ever, and that martial law was just around the corner. So, on September 21, 1972, through Proclamation No. 1081, Marcos began his 14-year dictatorship and, 30 years later, he becomes a “hero.” If that does not prove that it is really more fun in the Philippines, nothing will.