A grieving woman whose fiancé was killed wants desperately to communicate with him.

“I am I.A. I e-mailed to ask for your help. I lost my fiancé in a shooting incident last Aug. 3. Up to now, we have no leads and the investigation is taking too slow.

“My fiancé is the love of my life and I have always felt and known that he is my soul mate. I learned after he passed away that he was supposed to surprise me with a civil wedding on his birthday (Aug. 15), 12 days after he was murdered.

“Each day I wake up feeling weak and tired of life since I lost him. I lost my purpose. I can’t even bring myself to get mad at his killers because the pain and sadness is crippling, and even if we catch these killers, they won’t be able to return my fiancé.

“It will be 40 days (40th day of death) on Sept. 11. Until now, no matter how I beg him, he hasn’t manifested himself to me. The reason I e-mailed is to ask if you can help me talk to him as I’ve been meaning to ask him if he’s okay, who did this to him, and when will he be coming to fetch me.

“His officemates have shared with me that there are times my fiancé would manifest himself in their office by playing with the light switch and the water dispenser. I’ve also been told of two occasions where two of his officemates dreamt of him giving them work-related instructions.

“How come he hasn’t made his presence felt? Or could it be that I’m not that ‘sensitive’ enough to feel him? Sometimes, probably out of desperation, I would think he is just near me whenever I would feel goose bumps, especially when I’m alone crying and talking to him.

“Is it true what I have been told that I am unable to feel him because I am in too much pain?

“Is it true that his spirit would permanently leave this world after his 40 days? Then how will I get answers to my questions?

“I know you know of ways to communicate with the spirit world and I really hope you can help me. I know I really sound desperate. I am. And I beg you, Sir Jimmy, to help me.”

Open channel

Dear I.A.,

I am truly sorry to hear what happened to your fiancé. I feel your pain and anguish. And the unanswerable question of why this terrible thing had to happen.

If you have been reading my books and also this column regularly, you may recall that it is against my policy to call on the spirits of the dead if there is no manifestation that the spirit would like to communicate with the living. This means the spirit is at peace and may have moved on to higher realms in the spirit world.

But if the spirit shows signs it is still around, if it manifests in no uncertain ways, like making an appearance, hearing his voice or footsteps, then it means he is trying to communicate with the living. And I strongly believe it is the duty of the living to find out what he wants, otherwise the spirit will never be at peace.

The fact that he has manifested himself to his officemates means he is still around, but maybe just to say goodbye, or to give last-minute instructions or messages he failed to give before he died.

The fact that he has not manifested himself to you does not mean he does not want to communicate with you. Despite your mental or intellectual desire to talk to him, he may not be able to do so because you are not an open channel.

Too rational, too intellectual

Desire alone will not make the communication possible. You are too rational, too intellectual. And spirit communication is not a question of intellect nor emotion alone, but of an openness or sensitivity to the spirit world.

So, the earthbound spirit will always look for an open channel. Perhaps, his officemates, to whom your fiancé manifests himself, may be able to communicate or talk to him, but not you. A spirit communication or séance involving them might work to get answers you seek.

It is not true that the spirit of the newly departed stays for only 40 days and then moves on. This idea originated in ancient Egypt where it is believed it takes the spirit 40 days to cross a river in the underworld to the other side.

The length of time a spirit of the dead stays earthbound depends on his state of consciousness. It may last only minutes after death, or even years. It has been reported, for example, that Elvis Presley, who died in 1977, could still be seen in Memphis, Tennessee. And Queen Marie Antoinette, who was executed by guillotine in the 18th century, could still be seen occasionally in Paris after more than 200 years.

You see, time, as we know it, does not exist in the spirit world.

Attend the next “Soulmates, Karma and Reincarnation” workshop on Sept. 30, 1-7 p.m., Room 308 Prince Plaza 1, Legazpi St. Greenbelt, Makati City. Call 8107245 or e-mail
[email protected].