Emily’s Post

Resist the urge to start a scandal at your husband’s office

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DEAR EMILY,

My husband and I separated a few months ago, because of the usual reason—a third party who is his officemate. Is it proper if I inform the company of their immorality? The mistress is married but has been separated for a long time now.

I just want to give them a lesson, and I know that it is my right to do it. Don’t worry. I will do it discreetly by sending an anonymous letter to the upper management. But the question is, will they believe me?

—Troubled Wife

Answer:

No, don’t even think about it! Don’t do anything that will compromise your dignity. Your separation is between you and your husband, whether there is a third person involved or not.  Nobody put a gun to anybody’s skull!

Throw plates at each other or claw each other’s eyes in the confines of your bedroom. You don’t need an audience for that. Do you have children? If so, that’s one more reason to hold your head up high to protect them.

You and your husband have a shared history and no matter how lusty and passionate his romance is with this other woman, the thought of his children laughing and playing and being near him, surely tugs at his heartstrings, like it or not.

If you value what remains of your family, breathe hard, bite your tongue and control your impulse to make their lives miserable, no matter how wonderful you’ll feel about it. Whatever you sow you will reap. Spread kindness and patience, and fate will reward you with so much more. The law of boomerang, you know?

Who knows how their relationship will turn out. It might not be as short as a hiccup, but it could turn out to be just a fever. Make him regret leaving you.  Though what you’re going through may be as painful as having your tooth pulled without anesthesia, whatever sacrifices you endure now will be worth it. Nobody is saying it will be easy. He may or may not find the way back home to you again, but be proud of yourself for being a class act.

Nothing will make you love yourself more than going through a storm and not losing your head throughout the ordeal. As one writer said: “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com. Visit my one-woman painting exhibit, “Landscapes in Oil,” at Chef Jessie’s Rockwell Club in Rockwell, Makati City, which runs until Feb. 7.

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Disclaimer: The comments uploaded on this site do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of management and owner of INQUIRER.net. We reserve the right to exclude comments that we deem to be inconsistent with our editorial standards.

  • Patas

    Nice point, Emily!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000532465679 Donardo Cuago

    GREAT ADVICE!

  • catalansbarce

    Excellent advise. Compassion instead of vengeance.

  • gudwil2all

    everybody in the office knows already for sure
    ang tsismis part of everyday office life

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/BV6DWTSUHKJGFANJJ5P3WPPTQM Paul

       that’s true for sure…walang bago sa sasabihin nya….malamang dahil sa ugali ng babae nagkaganun un lalaki bagamat desisyon pa rin un nun lalaki.

  • anneleia

    Good advice! Just move on even it will cause you a lot of pain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000532465679 Donardo Cuago

    “Make him regret leaving you.”

    THIS IS THE ULTIMATE REVENGE!

  • rickysgreyes

    Do NOT create a scandal in the office. Just cut off his d-i-c-k.

  • angie1875

    Play the martyr wife role? That is an advice I think a priest (meaning male) will give….let the man have his fun and pray na lang.We do have immorality as a basis for hiring and firing employees so the wife is within her legal rights. It is not undignified to claim what is yours in a legal way.  If your cellphone was stolen, you have every right to report it. Same w/ a stolen hubby. Go give them a good fight legally. It will show your kids that you can stand up when you know you are right. If your husband beat you, cheated on you, you fight back legally. God helps those who help themselves.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_L3NJ4IIZZMB2OMPIOR7X2B72ME k

    emily’s advise is more of on moving on smoothly…i agree!

  • E Rigby

    Great advice as always, Emily!   By making a “scene” at her husband’s workplace, the act will not only demean the husband but will demean her as well.  It should not be considered at all. 

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