Quantcast
Latest Stories

Emily’s Post

He wants to have his cake and eat it, too

By

DEAR EMILY,

I am 23 years old, and I have a boyfriend who is seven years older than me. We met through a friend two years ago. We became close, though he was jobless while I was in my final year in college.

He later traveled for his work, and I never stopped being the party girl I was before he left. Later, I met a guy who lived just five houses from mine. He is also 30 years old, like my other boyfriend.   He’s comfortable to be with. He looks so perfect.

We have become very close—we talk, we laugh, no pretenses. We’ve had sex three or four times now. The problem is he wants to have his cake and eat it, too.  He has numerous girlfriends, though he loves me, I know. What can I do to make him concentrate more on me and leave those flings?

—Divided

Did you know he had these relationships before you even started having sex with him? If so, why are you suddenly changing the rules in the middle of the game? If it’s just an “inkling” you had that he loves you, it will never be the same as hearing those words from his own lips.

Did you think his character would change overnight, just for you? Bear in mind that he is seven years your senior! He has the maturity and the experience to twirl women unsuspecting of the ways of the world around his finger. What did you expect? Unless he finds something extraordinarily special in you, you’ll only be one of the girls on his fun list!

Had you given him time to know you better, like you better, and allowed him to discover you as that deserving woman who could hook him for life, we probably won’t be having this conversation. But as things stand, he already got you into bed—what else is there to haggle about?

If it’s not too late and you honestly believe you’ve finally found this “perfect person,” make him see your real worth—not just a body he can have for sex. Show him how different you are from his other girlfriends, how they pale in comparison to you, and what an asset you can be to him while he forges ahead and makes his mark in this life. Then you may have a fighting chance to win him over.

Otherwise, he has no reason to change the comfort of the status quo.

E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.


Follow Us


Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter


Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Tags: long-distance relationships , pre-marital sex , Relationships

  • whyinthisworld

    Hi Emily, you are right for asking this letter sender, what else is there to haggle about. The guy got her already so my take on this is, to forget him is  the hardest thing to do and only the time will tell. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BV6DWTSUHKJGFANJJ5P3WPPTQM Paul

    there is nothing you can do to make him concentrate on you….he had relationships prior to having sex with you…nakasama ka lang sa listahan niya. pag-isipan mo rin. kaw lang ang talo.

  • Patas

     Ginago mo yung bf mo habang wala ito, so kung gaguhin ka rin ng naka-sex mo, karma mo lang yun siguro….

  • gudwil2all

    love thy neighbor
    but don’t screw them

  • E Rigby

    It’s a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  She’s cheating on her boyfriend and yet wants her new love interest to not cheat on her? 

    She ought to look at herself first.  She put herself in this situation and she ought to find a way to get herself out of it.  As far as fidelity is concerned, she ought to realize that she doesn’t have that much credibility there if the guy is aware of her relationship with her current boyfriend.



Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
Advertisement
  1. How to enjoy Buntod
  2. Kim Atienza: At home with art and design
  3. Life lessons I want to teach my son
  4. No tourist draw, Malang the croc will remain wild
  5. ‘Wild West’ Masbate’s pristine marine gems
  6. The best flavors of summer in one bite, and more
  7. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  8. Homemade yogurt, bread blended with pizza, even ramen
  9. What has happened to Barrio Fiesta and Singing Cooks & Waiters?
  10. Haneda International Airport: A destination on its own
  1. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  2. How to enjoy Buntod
  3. Historic Fort Bonifacio tunnel converted into a septic tank
  4. How Margie Moran-Floirendo keeps her dancer’s body
  5. Are your favorite malls open this Holy Week break?
  6. Miss America: Don’t suspend teen over prom invite
  7. ‘Wild West’ Masbate’s pristine marine gems
  8. Kim Atienza: At home with art and design
  9. ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  10. Life lessons I want to teach my son
  1. How Zsa Zsa Padilla found Conrad Onglao; Sharon Cuneta played Cupid
  2. Mary Jean Lastimosa is new Miss Universe Philippines
  3. Did Angara ruin Pia Wurtzbach’s chances at Bb. Pilipinas?
  4. Dominique–Gretchen and Tonyboy Cojuangco’s daughter–now an endorser
  5. Vinegar test helpful vs cervical cancer
  6. From Jeannie to mom of suicide victim
  7. San Vicente beaches hidden but not for long
  8. Borgy and Georgina are back; others are off–again
  9. Why is the lifestyle set now afraid to wear jewelry–before Kim Henares?
  10. Sen. Angara: I thought Pia Wurtzbach gave a good answer

News

  • Smooth Edsa ride up in 2 years, but…
  • Obama: US will defend Japan vs China
  • Santiago accuses Lacson of fronting for Enrile, Gigi Reyes
  • Name names, Lacson told
  • Ukraine FM: We are ready to fight Russia
  • Sports

  • Sharapova advances to Stuttgart quarterfinals
  • Galedo caps ride of redemption
  • Beermen, Express dispute second semis slot today
  • Lady Agilas upset Lady Bulldogs in four sets
  • NLEX roars to 7th D-League win
  • Lifestyle

  • Marinduque: Visiting the ‘palm of the ocean’
  • First at Vatican in 60 years
  • How Jing Monis Salon gave Krissy the pixie
  • Want to be a supermodel? Work on your inner beauty, says Joey Espino
  • Denims that keep you cool–literally
  • Entertainment

  • Kristoffer Martin: from thug to gay teen
  • Has Ai Ai fallen deeply with ‘sireno?’
  • California court won’t review Jackson doctor case
  • Cris Villonco on play adapted from different medium
  • OMB exec’s assurance: We work 24/7
  • Business

  • Nielsen sees car buying boom in the Philippines
  • How author of best-seller exposed ‘one percent’ economic elite
  • Bangko Sentral readies new bank lending rules
  • Gaming stocks gain, PSEi eases on profit-taking
  • Cebu Pacific flew 3.74M passengers as of March
  • Technology

  • Vatican announces hashtag for April 27 canonizations
  • Enrile in Masters of the Universe, Lord of the Rings?
  • Top Traits of Digital Marketers
  • No truth to viral no-visa ‘chronicles’
  • ‘Unlimited’ Internet promos not really limitless; lawmakers call for probe
  • Opinion

  • Editorial Cartoon, April 25, 2014
  • No deal, Janet
  • Like making Al Capone a witness vs his gang
  • MERS-CoV and mothers
  • A graduation story
  • Global Nation

  • Senator hopes PH will also get same vow
  • HK victims to get P115M; traders raised money
  • Afghan hospital guard kills 3 American doctors
  • Career diplomat is new PH consul general in Los Angeles
  • US4GG: Aquino should ask Obama for TPS approval, drone technology
    Marketplace