?I THINK YOUR PROJECT IS MAKING you sick?? Wisdom doesn?t always come from someone older. In this case, it was my 18-year-old daughter, reminding me to slow down.

I?m working on a book and on my graduate thesis right now?necessary work but emotionally exhausting. Some days, I get totally lost and immersed in it that I forget to take time to care for myself. Last week, I felt particularly out of sorts. I couldn?t explain why I felt so run-down and tired. A good friend reminded me that the topic wasn?t exactly all fun and games. In fact, it?s serious to the core and one that constantly makes me revisit one of the most difficult periods of my life. I decided to take my daughter?s words to heart. Self-care is the order of the day from hereon.

?Do something nice for yourself each day,? my mentor once told me at a time in my life when I was particularly frazzled. I keep forgetting that whenever I get lost in the flurry of deadlines and maternal duties. This last week was so particularly tough that I felt I no longer had the energy to attend my god-sister?s wedding last Sunday. I?m so glad I went. After a particularly draining week, I found myself refreshed in the middle of the polo field as I watched the young couple, wrapped in love, make their wedding vows. There, under a vast expanse of wide-open blue skies and an endless swath of green, I felt my heart sing once more. The happy hormones had returned.

Self-care strategies

Why do we wait until we?re frazzled to take good care of ourselves? I always tell other people to listen to their bodies but sometimes I forget to pay attention to mine. I suppose I am but human. To help myself, I listed my six top self-care strategies and pinned them to a wall where I could see them each morning and at night before I go to bed. You can make up your own, but here they are.

1. Get enough sleep. For some, eight hours is a must, while for others, six will do. Depending on the day?s schedule, I realize I can hardly function if I don?t get my 6-8 hours sleep. I become cranky and less of a mother when I don?t sleep well. However, there are days when you can?t help it, when your brain is too wired with thoughts of work, the kids, the house, etc. When that happens, I find that sipping a cup of warm lavender tea works wonders.

2. Exercise regularly. Last week, I broke routine, and so it was no wonder that I was frazzled. Regular exercise keeps those endorphins up and running. No matter how busy you are, always make time for it. Get up an extra hour early or walk around the block after dinner. Something about sweat and detoxifying yourself from all the ?poisons? of daily living helps keep you glowing and keeps you sane.

3. That?s what friends are for. Find a friend or two who will lend an ear or shoulder whenever your nerves are shot or you feel blue. Ideally, it should be someone whose opinions you respect, who won?t be a wet blanket, someone who will tell it like it is, and someone who can take care of you when you are having a bad hair day. In the same manner, be that kind of friend, too. Never underestimate the value of social support, of having someone to pour your heart and mind to.

4. Pamper yourself. Soak in the tub. Get a massage. Go to the salon. Buy yourself something nice. Have a meal you won?t forget. Indulge in your favorite dessert. Taking care of the external self works wonders on the internal self as well.

5. Processing is key. There is always a reason why you are frazzled or blue. Stop a while and try to figure out where it?s coming from. Just take a moment to pause and scribble it down. Breathe deeply as you do this. Listen to some calming music. Stay in a quiet, comfortable corner. More often than not, you will get your ?Aha!? moment and it will come to you. Whatever it is, be ready to face it, address it, act on it, and move on.

6. Pray and meditate. This always works wonders but it is also something we often forget to do. Prayer must always be one?s first course and not the court of last resort. I forgot who said: ?The more I find myself on my toes, the more I have to get down on my knees.? Seek guidance at the beginning and end of each day. He knows your day already, it?s all been laid out for you. Ask then for the courage and the wisdom to plough through whatever will be thrown your way over the next 24 hours.

To keep yourself sane on the journey, take good care of yourself. After all, you cannot give what you do not have.

Here?s to a calmer, more joyful week ahead!

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com.