Catching a cold is no fun. Everyone tells me it is the aftermath of a week well spent in Baguio, where the weather was, putting it mildly, delicious. Getting back to above 34-degree temperatures must have done me in.
In a haze from my medications, I struggled with today’s piece. Inspiration does not come easy to someone who is sneezing and wheezing.
But there was a knock on my door late the other night. In spite of a self-imposed quarantine, one intrepid granddaughter dropped in to show me a book she will teach the children in her school this year.
“Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids” is a book by Carol McCloud, with illustrations by David Messing.
I took it to the couch with me and read it between sips of hot tea. I read it slowly. I thought, this isn’t a book just for children. We all must read it, at any age, and take it to heart.
Do you remember having to write book reports in school? I want to do one right now. Our American teacher Sister Rosella was strict about assigning books for home reading. Some authors were banned. I didn’t read Hemingway until I was out of convent school.
Anyway, back to the book.
Filling an invisible bucket
In simple prose, it tells us that all day long, every single man, woman or child on the face of this planet carries an invisible bucket. The bucket has one purpose: to hold your good thoughts and feelings. A full bucket makes you a happy person; an empty one makes you feel sad and lonely. It is the same for everyone—rich or poor, any color, gender, shape or size.
Who fills your bucket? You cannot do it yourself. Other people do. And they need you to fill theirs. Mankind is composed of bucket fillers and bucket dippers. Which one are you?
I believe we are a little bit of both. The heart of this book is to make us fillers rather than dippers.
Self-centeredness ranks as one of mankind’s worst evils. This book encourages us to be “others-centered.”
The original idea of buckets, fillers and dippers is attributed to the late American psychologist Donald O. Clifton, who wrote “How Full is Your Bucket.” Since 1979, his teachings on this concept have continued to influence teachers and writers all over the United States.
McCloud’s book is but a small yet very important part of the endless ripples caused by that first marvelous idea. She was also inspired by the life of the original “Bucket Man,” Merrill H. Lundgren, whose daughter Stacey Lundgren and son Peter breathed life into their father’s legacy of bucket-filling.
Light in the darkness
Stacey tells the story about her parents taking them to visit the salt mines under Detroit. It was totally dark, and her eyes could not get accustomed to the frightening blackness that engulfed them. She thought if only someone was to strike a match, even the tiniest flame would enable her to see the faces around her and drive her fears away.
Bucket filling, she figured, wields the same power. One kind word, a smile, a heartfelt thank you, offering to share the load of another person could be that one spark of light needed to dispel the darkness.
We must become bucket fillers for the same reason. Acts of love and compassion can spell the difference between staying blind and in the dark, and being able to see.
Lundgren writes, “We are trained not to display in words our love for people. It is easier for people to display their anger. What we are doing is teaching kids to go home and be bucket fillers, which I define as a warm and caring person who deals from the heart.”
Kind words
A word of love or a token of gratitude will fill someone’s bucket. It is easy to make others feel special. It is when we reach out to them that we become “fillers.”
Sadly, it is just as easy and takes no time at all to be a bucket dipper. When you do nasty things to someone, when your words drip with sarcasm, or you have no time for a hello or a smile, and pass someone right by without even a word or a glance, you dip into that person’s bucket and take out the measure of good that once was in there. Bullies are dippers. When we cause someone to be lonely or angry, we empty his bucket.
Some people think they can fill up their own bucket by taking from someone else’s. But that is not the way it works.
The book says: “Remember, when you fill someone else’s bucket, you fill your own bucket, too.” Think of how good it feels to help someone in trouble. When you hug someone who is lonely, the happiness you give fills your heart as well. Reassure a frightened soul and your own fears dissipate. But unkind words, disparaging comments, and negative remarks are hurtful and destructive. Don’t forget that as we diminish someone else’s bucket, we empty our own.
How easy it is for children to understand this thought process. But for those like us who can’t see farther than our own ego, it is difficult to extend a hand in friendship, offer a word of encouragement, or step back and allow someone else to shine. Why must it always be about us?
The book has left a deep mark in my heart. And this is my question: Are we living our life to fill buckets or to leave them empty? Think about it. Be honest. We do have a choice.