Every year, when Mother’s Day comes around, people celebrate the relationships they have with their mothers.
Inquirer Lifestyle talked to four mothers and their teenage daughters and found a common thread uniting all eight. As the daughters grew older, their relationships with their mothers evolved from mother and daughter to something approximating “best of friends.”
Still, some of them, like publicist Ika Ysmael, say that “Respect is the key word,” while stylist Jenni Epperson said, “I am first and foremost a mom before being a kunsintidor.” (A kunsintidor is someone who agrees to another person’s whims.)
Entrepreneur Luisa Feliciano-Viray, 39, and 14-year-old Gabrielle (Gab)
Gab: My mom and I are best friends! I can tell my mom anything and she always has good advice on friends, clothes, school, etc. I admire my mom because she is always there for me and she takes care of the whole family. Though she’s very strict sometimes (about manners, school work, cleaning up after ourselves), she’s still one of my favorite people to spend time with. We both like to laugh and shop and watch movies. We also pray together, which is nice.
Luisa: We enjoy each other’s company a lot. We like to hang out together, shopping, watching movies, cooking and baking, fixing the house. But I’m her mother and I guide her and discipline her as needed, of course. I make it a point to get to know her friends, and Gab in turn loves tagging along with me and my friends. She thinks we “oldies” are hilarious.
Gab is big-hearted and dependable. She’s also very intuitive and sensitive and is always ready to help others. When she was born, the people in the delivery room noted how, unlike other babies, her eyes were wide open, scanning the faces of those around her. She’s always been filled with curiosity and wonder.
Apples Aberin, Unilever’s head of PR, Personal Care, and Samantha (Sam)
Apples: At this stage, Sam and I are definitely more like best friends than mother and daughter. We share everything, from the mundane—guilty pleasures like cheesy TV series marathons, shopping jaunts, corny jokes, clothes (thank God we don’t have the same shoe size, otherwise my shoe closet will be wiped out!), to the more profound—secrets, life challenges, dreams and aspirations.
I was a lot stricter when Sam was younger. I was always worried about her and kept an eagle eye on her. That has changed completely. I’ve learned to take a step back and allow her to grow into her own beautiful self, to explore and learn new things while making sure she knows I’m always here for her.
Last Mother’s Day, I was still in Singapore and could not come home for the weekend because of work. I missed Sam and her brother terribly and was feeling sad. My spirits were lifted when I received flowers and a sweet card from Sam. She managed to make me feel special and loved despite the distance.
Sam has this really good head on her shoulders and always watches out for me and her brother. She is such a strong young woman (sometimes I feel like she’s more mature than I!), who inspires me to be the best I can be.
Publicist Ika Roxas-Ysmael and Ysabella (Bella)
Ika: Our relationship is a combination of mother and daughter and best of friends. Bella knows the boundaries of her being the daughter and me as her mother. Respect is the keyword. Yes, we hang out, we have our mother-daughter bonding day—watching a chick flick, or salon day together. We have fun but, of course, there are rules or guidelines to follow (which every teenager at some point in their teen life is meant to break!).
So there were a lot of late-night talks, disagreements and even tears! She’s turning 17 and going to college this June, so I would say we connect to each other now more than ever. She understands me better and I have also learned to listen and accept to somehow adjust and tone down my “strictness.”
Bella: In view, we’re somewhere in the middle. She’s my mother, there are rules—a lot of rules. Though she’s also my best friend in that I can tell her anything and open up to her about certain things in my life that I’m curious about or feeling different about. She’s always here to give me advice (as a mother), and it’s different from the advice my friends give me. They’re both very helpful but mom’s advice is usually more challenging, but good.
She’s the perfect best-mom-friend any girl like me could have.
Ika: I cannot forget that moment she came down from the stairs fully dressed and all made up for her Junior-Senior prom. It hit me that she’s not a child anymore, but a beautiful young lady at that!
Bella: She always knows what to do. She loves my brothers and all equally, and she is fair—no favoritism! She’s fun to be with and is such a cool mom. She knows how to discipline us and she knows how to talk to us. She’s hardworking and loving. She encourages me in ballet, because she knows I can do it. She believes in me always, that’s why she’s the best mom in the world!
Stylist Jenni Epperson and teenage daughter Aryanna
Jenni: Aryanna and I are very close. I’m grateful that we have a healthy mother-and-daughter relationship. I prefer it that way as our relationship is more nurturing, loving, understanding and honest. We are also great friends, but I am first and foremost a mom before a kunsintidor.
I believe that because of all the time we’ve spent together, our relationship is not complicated. I’ve learned to be more transparent and open to Aryanna so that she may be the same with me.
My daughter and I share code words. We use them to get out of sticky situations. We’ll say something like, “Don’t forget to call dad!” which means “get me out of here!” But there was one time I forgot our arrangement!
Aryanna: “Hey mom, don’t forget to call dad, ok?”
Me: “Aryanna, can’t you see I’m talking to someone. You call your dad!”
Aryanna: “No, Mom. Don’t. Forget. To. Call. Dad.” *wink, wink*
Me: “Oh. OK.” *wink, wink*
Aryanna: *Face palm*