DEAR EMILY,
I have just seen your articles in the newspaper about OFWs having affairs.
I am a New Zealand man, 64 years old, who spent nearly four years in an immigration office struggling to bring to my country a Filipino lady. Three times, I visited your beautiful country and met many wonderful people who I came to admire. Finally, I was able to get permission for my lady, aged 48, to come here.
After we married, almost immediately she changed. She refused to assist me in my business, was unwilling to help in the house, unfriended me on Facebook after three days of marriage, and worst of all, she began a destructive session of complaints and lies about me to my family and friends, causing much sorrow and anger among those who know me well.
She was unwilling to sit beside me in the evening, and was only happy when I spent money on her. I had supported this lady for over three years while she was not working in the Philippines, and also some of her relatives, and the cost to me was more than P1.6 million.
After being only married 10 weeks, she left my home and subsequently went to live with a man convicted of two brutal murders. She boasted in an e-mail to me what a wonderful lover this man is and I have heard of some who have done this to other men before, but was saddened that I now have experienced this betrayal.
I love your country and the people there. However, I would say to those contemplating marrying a foreigner—while you need to be careful in your choice, betrayal such as I had is not a recommendation for any man to take a bride from your country.
M. H. ARONSEN
You are one of those unlucky men who had the misfortune of meeting scheming wicked women who clearly target unsuspecting victims from overseas—to scoop them out of poverty in this country, or whatever malicious excuse they can think of.
Many look virginal, play coy, treat you like an emperor, flatter you till you grow scales on your toes, and promise you a fairy-tale existence till kingdom come. They’ll use anything and every ploy to ensnare those looking for love.
You were a willing victim, and sorry for you, this woman obviously had the chops to be audacious and couldn’t wait to unmask, bare herself and discontinue her charade very early on. She just dropped all her pretensions and flung open her true colors the moment she saw how clear the coast was upon signing the marriage certificate.
Did you have a prenup? Can you still report her to immigration for deportation? Will you be protected by your government in cases such as this? Or, couldn’t you have her mental state examined?
The US has wizened up. Marriage to foreigners have to go through a probationary period before the spouse is granted full legitimacy. There are so many tales of woe and horror stories that it’s mind-blowing how a lot still fall into the cracks or get burned.
It is sad that this woman used the currency of love to lure you. There are so many interracial couples who truly fall in love and can’t be together because of the tight grip of bureaucracy. Then the rotten who are utterly creative in evil ways are mixed with these good people, and prevail! Talk about luck, or injustice, as the case may be.
Nothing can assuage your disgust at what happened to you. Give it time. Rest assured that the laws of karma never stop whirling.
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.