What does it mean to “take for granted”? A brief definition says “to use, accept in a careless or indifferent manner; to accept without question or objection; to assume.” It seems harmless enough.
Dr. Joyce Brothers, well known for her expertise in relationships, says: “Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in another person’s life.”
I don’t know about that. I am more acquainted with the not so flattering and, in fact, destructive side of this particular human behavior. Many of us know from experience how solid and stable relationships have floundered and failed because of it.
I know of a heartbroken husband who spoke to his son on the eve of the young man’s wedding: “Whatever you do, don’t take your wife for granted. I did. I assumed your mom would never leave me and she was sure I didn’t love her. We both were wrong.” Very sad!
Overindulged generation
This generation is overindulged. It is easy to get accustomed to having things in excess and act as if we deserved it all. We are surrounded by our latest gadgets and can’t live without them. We love our “toys” and use people. We feel entitled, confident that they are all ours for the keeping. Only when we lose them do we realize how wrong we are. Like a wise woman once said: “We never miss the water until the well runs dry.”
Today’s pace is hectic. What is your average day like? If you are like most, you get up in the morning, gulp your cup of coffee and review your agenda. You have a “to-do” list, don’t you?
You look out the window. It’s raining again. Delays, traffic, umbrella, the driver is home sick, and now you also have to take the kids to school. You are too upset about your messed-up schedule to notice that there are people out there without umbrellas, scampering for cover, who can’t afford a taxi and have to walk to work. Others don’t even have jobs. So they stand in the rain.
Let us check our hearts.
Inconvenienced
Moms and dads today are tired and feel inconvenienced by demanding children. Imagine, after your 9-to-5 routine, you have to do homework with them? Some sons and daughters bemoan the time they have to spend with a frail and faltering parent. I dare you look into those tired eyes and see your own future. When was the last time you offered your arm to a wobbly old woman, your hand to a doddering old man?
Why is it that we seldom take the time to tell people how important they are in our lives? Beware! Let us not lose sight of what matters.
What do we take for granted? Here’s a quick answer: the time we are given, the people we love and who love us, creation and all the God-given little things that make life worth living.
‘Today is a gift’
My 18-year-old grandnephew recently left for college. His mother presented him with a video of his childhood, of people and places he knew, and words of wisdom (both serious and funny) from friends and family. She included a brilliant piece written and narrated by Brother David Steindl-Rast. I share it with you in the hope that you may keep this wise man’s words deep in your hearts.
“You think it’s just another day in your life. It’s not just another day, it’s the one day given to you—Today. It is given to you. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now. And the only appropriate response is gratefulness.
“If you do nothing else but cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is; if you learn to respond as if it were the first day of your life, and the very last day, then, you will have spent this day very well.
“Begin by opening your eyes and be surprised that you have eyes you can open. That incredible array of colors is constantly offered to us for pure enjoyment.
“Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky, we so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment with clouds coming and going.
“We just think of the weather. And even with the weather, we don’t think of the many nuances of weather. We just think of good weather and bad weather. This day, right now, has unique weather. Maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same the way it is right now. Open your eyes—look at that.
“Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story you could never fully fathom; not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. They all go back so far, and at this present moment, on this day, all the people you meet. All that life from generations from so many places all over the world, flows together and meets you here, like a life giving water if you only open your heart and drink.
“Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch and there is electric light. You turn a faucet and there is warm water and cold water—and drinkable water. It’s a gift that millions and millions of people in the world never experience.
“These are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart.
“And I so wish that you would open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, that everyone you would meet on this day will be blessed by you. Just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch—just by your presence.
“Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then it will really be a good day.”
