Chances are, they probably have anywhere between a handful to a dozen or so, and those albums would probably be a chronicle of your whole family’s history, and not simply yours.
I remember getting my first camera about 23 years ago. It was a hot pink Vivitar. The film was sold in batches of 12, 24 or 36 shots, and they weren’t cheap. This meant that I had to think twice before pressing the shutter, and make sure the shots were worth developing afterward.
Then there were the surprises. Without an LCD monitor, you had no way of knowing if you actually got the shot you were aiming for, until you finished the whole roll of film and had it developed.
There was also the awful possibility of belatedly discovering that you had accidentally exposed your film, and not a single shot had come out from a memorable trip or event. That’s why a single album could contain several years’ worth of family memories.
If we go back even further and think of our great grandparents, finding a whole album would be the exception. Due to the nature of photography back then, there aren’t usually more than a dozen photos of our ancestors, making each find a cherished link to the past, revealing tiny glimpses into the lives and secrets of those who came before us.
I’m sure that parents back then also wanted to capture their children’s smiles. But even if our ancestors were able to come up with the money to pay a professional photographer, what chance did those few precious photos have against the passing of time?
No clue
In our family, I have pictures and memories of my grandparents, but I have no clue how my great grandparents looked like, as there wasn’t a single photograph that made it through the fires and wars of that generation.
Once in a while, when my mom talks about her grandparents and family stories from that era, I wonder about how they looked and whether a photo would have caught a look of love and contentment between them, had one been taken and managed to survive to this day.
I wonder if my own beloved but incredibly strict grandmother would have had a naughty toothless grin as a child. Because there is nothing to rely on, it’s up to my imagination to fill in the blanks.
Fast forward to today, and seeing the “My Photos” icon on my desktop, I shudder to think about what lies within. With the advent of digital photography and the explosion of photo sharing on social media, my computer is filled to capacity with thousands of shots.
I’d like to think all photos are special moments captured for remembrance, but you and I know that that is simply not true. Nowadays, with most mobile phones also functioning as a camera, a lot of people from our generation seem to be obsessed with recording and sharing every moment of their waking hours—from shots of the food they eat, the places they go to, and updates on their kids.
It seems nothing is private anymore. We’ve become our own paparazzi.
The debates are endless on what kind of generation we have become, but I think it is too early to judge ourselves; frankly, there are bigger problems out there to focus our energies on.
Going too far
But there is one thing that bothers me. Never mind the photos of the food and clothes or one’s self. Food and clothes don’t have histories or futures to protect, and if it’s your face, then it’s your life. But what about our children? How will they be affected by what parents share about them online?
While most parents take and post the usual photos—such as those of their newborn, to announce a birth, or special occasions such as baptisms and birthdays—a number of us are guilty of going beyond this, myself included.
It starts with the cute Halloween costumes and photos with the pets, and before you know it, you’ve gone too far. As they say, once you get started, it’s a slippery slope.
Things have gotten out of hand for some that a new term has actually been invented to describe going beyond the acceptable borders: “oversharenting.”
Cross the line
Oversharenting is the act of sharing and posting an inappropriate amount of information and images of one’s child/children. The problem is, everyone has his own definition of what is appropriate and what is not.
Considering how much time and effort go into taking care of young children, it’s easy to cross the line between what people would like to see and what they don’t care to know.
For some, it really doesn’t matter, but others have gotten so fed up that a number of anti-oversharenting blogs have cropped up on the Internet.
Given our own personal levels of comfort and considering how subjective and touchy this subject can be, it’s hard to say what should and shouldn’t be done. As a parenting writer, I am not in the position to define what those borders should be, as I often use my own kids and experiences with them in my efforts to personalize what I am writing about.
Basic guidelines
However, I thought about a few basic guidelines that most people would probably agree with, and which our children might thank us for in the future.
Before posting anything, consider your child’s security. Does the photo reveal details such as where you live or where your child goes to school? Not everyone who checks out your children’s photos has good intentions. Even if you don’t post the address of your residence, you could be giving away your child’s weekly schedule and locations with what you post.
Check your settings. Is your location service off? What are the privacy settings on your account? It’s always interesting to know where in the world our friends are when they are on vacation or traveling for work, but it is another thing when it comes to our children.
And while you think you are only sharing certain photos with family on Facebook, your settings might have you sharing them with a lot more people than you would like.
Also, ask yourself a few questions, such as, where does a particular photo belong? If it’s very private, please don’t upload it.
Another important question is, how will this affect the child? What some parents may consider cute and funny, an emotional teenager may find humiliating, and he/she may even get bullied or taunted in school should the photo spread.
But it’s not just a teenager’s peers who can see what they are up to. Bear in mind that, nowadays, some colleges and companies go online to check on applicants, and if they get the wrong impression from a rant that you may have written about a teenager’s mistake, that may be a hindrance to their aspirations in a specific school or company.
Then there is the debate on creating an “online identity” for the child. Will the years of adulation and praising put too much pressure on a child, who may grow up thinking he has to live up to his image online, or will it be a trigger for rebellion?
In short, there are many things to consider before giving in to the impulse to post photos. But with the right questions and guidelines, future generations not only will have wonderful photos to look back on, but will also enjoy the chance to get to know their parents and grandparents—without having to cringe in embarrassment.