I first met Obelia “Bobong” Cutiongco at a photo exhibit benefiting special needs kids in Singapore. My friend Mara brought me along, and having a soft spot for such issues (I did my thesis on children with autism), the event was of particular interest.
Little did I know that I would meet a mom who would become a friend and an inspiration, for Bobong is not only a special needs mom; she is the kind of mom specially needed by any child these days—someone willing to move heaven and earth, and anything in between, for her child, her family and others in the same boat.
She is what I call a Mother Crusader.
Bobong is mom to two lovely girls, Day and Sandra. Day is much older, having just graduated from high school, and is now pursuing a creative degree. Sandra, her special needs child, is her baby and the center of their family’s, and even their family friends’ attention, with even Day’s international school friends pitching in during fundraisers.
“I cried for a minute,” Bobong says of the moment she found out that her future child would have Down Syndrome. “Then I realized how blessed our family is for being surrounded by doctors and other specialists—my sister-in-law is a geneticist/pediatrician, my other sister-in-law is a child psychologist, and my mother-in-law and my own sister are both teachers.
“My sister-in-law, Dr. Eva Cutiongco-de la Paz, even had one realization—that God put her in genetics because Sandra was coming. What a heartwarming way to welcome Sandra.
Cause
“I am outspoken, driven, compassionate, a mover and I love making a difference in other people’s lives,” Bobong says, and she means it. Now that I have known her for a few years, those descriptions are understatements for a woman who spends most of her time and all her efforts bringing the cause of special needs kids to the public, more specifically, in a country in which she is a foreigner—no easy feat under any circumstances.
To this end, she established a group called Espesyal Pinoy, a support group for other Filipinos in Singapore with special needs kids. Through social media and special events, Bobong brought together special needs families and others with relevant skills to volunteer and to act as a support system for overseas Filipino families in the same situation.
“When Sandra came, we became parent advocates of special needs children. I was inspired to put up a support group here in Singapore, and most of my activities here are about advocacy—mostly lectures and awareness campaigns.
“My husband has been very supportive of our work, and Day has even done several school projects to raise awareness for special needs children,” Bobong proudly shares.
Bobong’s focus, however, has always been the underprivileged. “Honestly, I feel how difficult it could be for others who do not have the support we have—a loving family, a family with specialists and the financial capability to give Sandra the best care. I have felt so blessed by all these that we have chosen to help those who cannot and who do not have the same.”
This is particularly true of many Filipinos who have come to work in Singapore, and Bobong has found, in this population, many who have become a part of the cause, who have needed support and who have willingly given their support as well.
“Here in Singapore, the high cost of therapy and education forces many Filipino families to struggle to make both ends meet, and give their special needs children the best educational therapy. Some, who cannot afford therapy, just rely on their child’s lessons in school, which are really not enough. Then, you can only count with your fingers the schools here that are inclusive—schools with programs for special needs children where they can also interact with typical children.”
Categorizing
Besides cost, another significant challenge, Bobong says, is in the prevalent practice of categorizing special needs children. “It is ironic that even special needs schools classify our children as high-IQ or high-functioning, and those who are non-verbal, with behavioral problems, or are not physically mobile are more likely to not be accepted.
“I envy those families living in the US, Canada, Australia and the UK, because these places have a law that states no child should be rejected in school. Children with special needs study side-by-side with other children, and this helps in their faster cognitive and social development.”
To address this issue, Espesyal Pinoy’s activities have been focused on social integration.
“In our awareness lectures, we promote joint activities between mainstream schools and our special needs schools. We encourage members of different organizations to volunteer with us, for them to have first-hand experience in handling special needs kids, and so that they can become advocates, as well.
“We are fortunate in Singapore, because it is very safe. The efficient transport system and disabled-friendly public places make our lives comfortable and peaceful,” Bobong says of her current home. “We also have the best therapy services available here, as their specialists are trained in the most up-to-date methods and treatments.”
Being a go-getter, Bobong is unfazed by the challenges of her situation and the advocacy that she’s decided to take. She feels blessed by all the support she’s received from her family, friends, her husband’s company and the multitude of friends—Filipino, Singaporean and others who have helped her along the way.
When asked what her happiest moment is to date, Bobong does not hesitate to share the pride she feels for her more-than-special (and I must add, very friendly and sociable) little girl.
“My happiest moment was when Sandra was accepted in this inclusive school here. At first, she was rejected because of her low IQ level. It has been a year, and since then she’s been assessed as having the highest reading level in her class, and will now be promoted to Primary 1.”