A young man asked me what to do at the prom. He is from an all-boys school, and was asked by a neighbor’s daughter to be her date. Excited and nervous, he asked why the prom is such a big deal.
My fatherly explanation may have either cleared things up or terrified him.
“Prom,” short for “promenade,” is defined as: a) a place for strolling, b) a leisurely walk in a public place, and c) a ceremonious opening of a formal ball consisting of a grand march of the guests.
The high school prom falls under the third description. Much more than a dress-up party, it is a momentous event in a teenager’s life that signifies growing up.
As juniors or seniors in high school, these young people are no longer little children. The prom allows them to dress up in their “grown-ups.” The grand march of guests announces that these kids are symbolically moving toward young adulthood.
Prom-goers learn and follow the social norms of good manners and etiquette that are necessary in adult life. The prom is where you show the world that you are ready to take your place in civilized society.
Here are some important points:
1. Asking someone to be your date: Nowadays, a girl can ask a boy to be her date. It is best to ask in person or by calling. Texting or Internet messaging does not show sincerity.
My date to the junior prom was asked by many boys to be their date. She went with me because I was the only one who asked in person, while everyone else had sent handwritten notes (yes, this was waaay before texting and the Internet). Note: Some coed schools pair off the girls and boys from among their own students.
2. Appropriate attire: Most proms require formal clothes. Girls wear gowns and dresses, while boys wear suits or barong tagalog. A tip is to keep the design of your formal wear close to classic cuts, and without any glaring design that dates it. You can use them in other formal events in the future. Be considerate of your parents, as these clothes cost a pretty penny.
Good manners
3. Meeting or picking up your date: A boy usually picks up the girl, especially if he is the one who asked her to be his date. Sometimes the girl will meet you at the prom. It is good manners to meet the girl’s parents, either when you fetch her from home or at the venue. This allows them to check you out and feel comfortable about the date.
4. Seating: There will usually be ushers to show you and your date to your table. Sometimes there are name cards placed where you are to sit. Normally, the girl is seated to the right of the boy. To impress her, you pull out her chair for her to sit and also when she stands. Take care of her so that she knows that going with you was a good idea.
5. Impress your date: Practice chivalry every chance you get. Open the car door for her and hold other doors open for her to pass. Talk to the waiter for her. Stay with her.
Do NOT leave her while you hang out with other boys at the prom. If you see your long-lost buddy, schedule another day that you both can meet and hang out. This is your night with your date.
By the way, my boy, chivalry refers to qualities of knighthood, like bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. A girl likes having her own knight in shining armor.
6. Table manners: First, do not start eating until at least four other couples have their food. No cell phones and tablets on the table (and do NOT use them at dinner). Eat by putting small portions of food into your mouth (no gobbling!). Do not speak with food in your mouth (so you do not spit some out as you talk!).
Chew quietly with your mouth closed. Do not chomp noisily on your food. Swallow the food that is in your mouth before putting more into it.
7. Napkin and utensil use: Put the napkin on your lap (to catch dropped food and protect your clothes from stains). Use the different-size forks, spoons and knives by starting with the ones placed on the outside of the dinner setting. Bread is served on your left. Your drinks are on your right.
8. How to treat the wait staff: Waiters are not your servants. Talk to them as people. Return their greetings. Use “please” or “po” when you ask for something. They are responsible for the food you will eat.
9. Dancing: Courtesy dictates you dance with your date at least for the first dance of the night. Even if you do not like dancing, you have to try. (If you are a bad dancer, she most likely will allow you to sit out the next songs.)
10. Ending the night: If you are dropping her home, you escort her to the gate or door and wait for her to get inside before you leave. If she is being picked up, take her to the car and open the door (chivalry!) for her.
If she takes a taxi, take note of the plate number (make sure the driver sees you) and call her later to make sure she got home. Whether you had a good time or not, you have to make sure she gets home safely.
Follow these tips and brush up on good manners and etiquette, so you will be confident that you are well-behaved. You can make your parents proud and become one of those people everyone wants to spend more time with. Besides your date, many other people will see how you act. Parents, teachers and many cute girls will be watching.
Be impressive!