DEAR EMILY,
I got involved with someone I met on my morning walks. The way she looked at me, the attention she gave me, made me feel like the most gorgeous and lovable person around.
I am in my early 60s, married, while she is 15 years my junior. I began seriously thinking of leaving my wife for someone who is so pitiful, and yet kind and so stimulating.
Then came her life’s litany of heartrending problems. I felt like a knight in shining armor who must rescue her from this cesspool of misfortunes: a horrible husband who beat her and left her with no support for her two children; her mistreatment at work that forced her to leave a number of jobs; the manipulations of co-agents who deprived her of her rightful commissions. There were just so many people to blame for her misfortunes!
Her financial needs also got into the picture: money for tuition; transportation; decent food for her children; rental payments, and many more. Twice I offered to find her a job, but she didn’t want pity, she said. Eventually, the hero in me ended up footing a sizable portion of her expenses.
Then things began to unravel. She started being incommunicado when she said she’d be out with friends. Her often-muted cell phone always seemed to have poor signal, weak battery, noisy location which would last almost four hours. She was always defensive when asked about it. Once, my suspicions made me stalk her arrival at home, and sure enough, she was with her guy.
People like her believe that lying and manipulation are not wrong, as they are unable to empathize with the feelings of their victims. Payback is a bitch when we allow our hearts to make fools of ourselves. Surely, there is no fool like an old fool!—Twice A Fool
Ain’t it so!
You’ve clearly been a victim of a human weakness. Call it love, call it lust—it all starts from square one.
You were drawn to her. You’ve been breathless with excitement, because of her. You couldn’t seem to wipe that smile off your face, because of her. The day seemed brighter with endless possibilities, because of her. And your heart turned to butter at the slightest sign of her helplessness. Problem is, reality subsequently showed its ugly face. You just didn’t padlock your wallet fast enough.
Don’t harbor anymore ill feelings toward her. You may not recover the money she’s bilked from you, so might as well charge that experience to a very bad investment. You’ve had your run of good feelings, albeit brought on by her lies. And that unabated, youthful exuberance she brought out in you was probably enough payment to you, in her warped mind.
You’re not made of bricks and mortar, not to succumb to flattery. That unwittingly morphed you into a knight in shining armor who unwisely tried to rescue this snake dressed as a damsel in distress.
Thank your lucky star for making you realize your folly in time, just before squandering your life’s worth down her sewer of lies! You’ve been a fool, surely, but you’re not alone in this. Fools abound among the young, and among the young at heart.
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.