Losing a middle finger, New Yorker Anton Purisima files world's biggest lawsuit | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

MANILA, Philippines—Never has the number zero been used to express anger, until now.

In a report from the Daily Mail, one New Yorker has filed the world’s biggest lawsuit and asked for the an anger-inducing, ink-wasting, paper-ripping amount of $2 undecillion or for the uninitiated, the number two with 36 fuming zeroes behind it.

Anton Purisima filed the lawsuit in a Manhattan court on April 11 against more than a thousand people after he was injured in the most grievous of ways, a rabid dog bite that took off his middle finger.

Purisima, who also filed such preposterous cases before, may have used the humble number zero as a replacement for the universal sign of anger, the towering middle finger.

In his 22-page comedy script, or in his terms “lawsuit,” Purisima went up against Au Bon Pain, a cafe that would bring anything but pain, Carepoint Health, Hoboken University Medical Center, KMart Store 7749, St. Luke’s Emergency Department, New York City Transit Authority, City of New York, New York City MTA, LaGuardia Airport Administration Amy Cagiula, and a thousand innocent schmucks he named as John Doe.

According to the report, a “rabid dog” bit Purisima in a public bus and a “Chinese couple” took pictures of him when he was treated in the hospital.

In his lawsuit, Purisima claimed that the damages he incurred “cannot be repaired by money” and “therefore priceless.”

Purisima got something right as his demand surely is priceless as the $2 undecillion price tag is more than all the money in the world combined.

He added that LaGuardia airport always overcharges his coffee and that he experienced civil rights violation, personal injury, discrimination on national origin, retaliation, harassment, fraud, attempted murder, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and conspiracy to defraud.

Before his surprisingly hand-written lawsuit, Purisima also filed charges against the People’s Republic of China, Wells Fargo, JP Morgan and others who could probably raise a thirty-foot dollar tower.

And if the old Yankees would be believed, Purisima may get his wishes in the concrete jungle where dreams are made.




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