Sometimes I can’t help but feel bad for fathers. While mothers are worshipped on pedestals and are just one step away from canonization in the eyes of many, fathers are usually the punch line in parenting jokes. But we all know that nothing could be farther from the truth.
As a “daughter’s first love and a son’s first hero,” fathers have quite a lot to live up to, and many of them step up beautifully. They move heaven and earth to fulfill their obligations.
Men who raise, love and care for their children are champions who live forever in the hearts of their respective families.
I spoke to some of these amazing men, and found out just exactly how fatherhood has changed them.
Rep. Dax Cua
Before I became a dad, many warned me about the sleepless nights of changing nappies and mixing milk bottles. True enough, when Dominique Maria came into our world, my wife Midy and I started developing eyebags so big you could call them eye luggage!
But all the weariness just couldn’t compare to the joy of seeing my daughter smile, and the pleasure of sniffing her sweet baby scent.
Fortunately, we also have a support group so great they could rival the San Antonio Spurs. Our parents, siblings and niece were all just too happy to help and share the joy that is Dominique.
It was then that our bond grew stronger as a family. I found myself appreciating our parents and all their sacrifices for us. I also found my wife a thousand times more beautiful when she embraced motherhood. Everything finally made sense. It was like finding even more beauty in what was already paradise.
Jaime de los Angeles
Fatherhood started when my wife and I had our first pet, Pablo, a French bulldog. We got him when he was eight weeks old. He was so cute and tiny. After weeks of arduous training and housebreaking for Pablo, I was convinced that taking care of a mini human would be a lot easier.
I was mistaken.
When my son Alonzo was born, much of my training from Pablo was sadly not applicable. I realized that I knew almost nothing about caring for an infant, and relied heavily on my wife and Google to get me through the first few months.
Thankfully, I survived. I started thinking less about what I needed to do, and focused more on just enjoying my new little buddy.
Fast-forward to 18 months later, and Alonzo is now at a stage where I can make him say almost anything: Amoeba. Burrito. Kobe Bryant. Torn Achilles. It amazes me how he can recite all the steps I take to make an iced latte in the morning, yet still thinks everything is the color green.
My wife always tells me that she never knew her love for someone could extend so deeply, and when I see her sniffing Alonzo’s hair or cradling him in his sleep, I know exactly what she means.
I share the sentiments when I come home to hurried little feet and shouts of “Papa!” It gets me every time.
Fatherhood is the same unchartered journey men must go through—only now, you are responsible for people other than yourself. I hope to continue to evolve into the person my family looks to for support, love and inspiration, much like how my dad is to me. I imagine this is a goal all fathers aspire for, and a day like this should remind us dads to celebrate how far we have gone.
Armand del Rosario
In a sense, I’ve been a father since I was a teen—when I took care of my younger brothers.
But having your own children is different and a little more special.
I’ve had to mellow a bit. You can’t be a hothead when you have children, especially daughters.
I used to enjoy flying, but now I dread it because I hate that there’s a chance I may never see my kids again.
I’m more prayerful, more patient. You learn to be more selfless, and put the needs of others above your own.
Everything I do in life, I do for my wife Georgia and children Nadia, Sonia and Katia.
Paolo de Leon
Fatherhood has changed me on different levels: emotionally, mentally, physically, even financially! Every day is a learning process with my three boys. It’s no easy feat, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Rafael del Rosario
I’ve become a little afraid when my kid learns that life is tough and often unfair, so I try harder to be kinder to people—in the hope that my son will know the kindness of others when he needs it.
I’ve also come to nurture a deeper respect for parents, my own folks especially. I like to think that I appreciate my own parents more now that I’m learning how difficult it is to be a parent while juggling the rest of life.
Dennis Leonor
Being a father has turned my life around. Because I am now a parent, I understand why my parents did what they did. All those requests to call if I was coming home late, or to inform them where I would be, were left unheeded by a child who didn’t understand the implications. This new perspective has allowed me to appreciate all that my parents have done for me.
Marc Soong
Being in the business of fast cars and off-roading, I tend to do risky things. I still have these motoring adventures, but as a father, I am definitely more careful with myself—knowing that I still have little ones to take care of.
I have also learned to take my family on these adventures. From nice highway drives to hiking in the mountains (my 6-year-olds have made it to Mt. Pulag), I have tried my best to expose them to my hobbies, passion and business at a young age.
Justin Tolentino
Becoming a father is truly a life-changing moment. Gone are the days of living with reckless abandon and thinking of nobody but yourself.
Having a social life—forget it! The only time I see my friends are in kiddie parties or baptisms. I’m lucky if I can have dinner and a movie with my wife.
Having kids consumes one’s whole life, but you quickly realize that their presence fills a void that you didn’t even know existed.
The moment your baby makes eye contact with you, and his/her fingers grasp yours, you’ll know what I’m talking about. You cannot really grasp how much love you are capable of giving and receiving until you witness this.
I came into parenthood thinking I had all the information to be a respectable teacher and nurturer to my kids. Little did I know it would work the other way around. They constantly teach me to be a better person. Who needs self-reflection when you get immediate feedback through the innocent eyes of your children? You know when you’ve done good or bad by them!
I’m definitely more tolerant now, but more importantly, I have learned to appreciate life’s simple joys!
Luigi Villanueva
I’ve learned to focus and develop three important aspects of fatherhood: availability, interaction and responsibility.
Being away from home, due to work, limits my role as a parent. Because of this, balancing my time between home and work is one of my most important priorities. I have made it a point to be always available for my children whenever they need me.
The attitude and drive toward learning new and productive ways of parenting are important to me. I try to communicate effectively with my children to the best of my abilities, and I encourage a lot of questioning. I’ve realized that this is one of the most important aspects of a child’s upbringing.
Fatherhood is not entirely responsibility and obligation. My children are a source of meaning, happiness and stability for me. I’ve learned to sacrifice other things of less value, to be more committed and dedicated to them.
Marco Mirasol
Fatherhood has definitely changed my priorities. My kids own me. I live and breathe for them. They are my priority, and I always have them in mind in everything I do. I try my best to be a part of their everyday life, since they grow up way too fast.
Miguel Zubiri
Being a father for the first time was like being reborn as a new person. It was no longer just myself in my life, as I have to share it with my own flesh and blood.
Being a father made me see things differently. It opened my eyes to how beautiful life truly is. I realized how great God is to us, and to the world, for giving us the precious gift of life.
Since becoming a father, my life has changed immensely. It’s no longer just the words “I” or “me,” but now usually “us” and “we,” as well as the bigger changes in the person that I have become.
Having a family helped me mature, as I no longer live by the day but plan for the future of my children.
Everything I do now is for my family, such as how I schedule my trips, plan my businesses and, most especially, my time. I have had to make sacrifices and promises to myself and my wife to be a better dad, but it is a small price to pay in exchange for my family’s happiness and peace of mind.
One of the promises I made was that I would take care of myself more and be a healthy dad by eating the right food and staying fit for my kids.
I also no longer ride small planes. There was a time I would ride them mindlessly; I even flew on the same plane that Secretary Robredo used, three days before his accident. I used it for a whole week before his fatal crash.
That incident truly scared me. My wife was so shaken by it and she woke me up to the reality that if something happened to me, my children would not even remember me since they are still so young.
After that, I took a whole week off work to be with my family, as I realized that life is so unpredictable and short, and we should always do our best to live our lives for others, most especially for our children.