“I coped with my parents’ separation by accepting the fact that there was nothing I can do to keep them together. I realized that I didn’t have to stress myself because of their separation. I have my own life to live so I focused all my energy on my friends and just having fun. And I had two awesome grandparents that took on the roles of father and mother. That’s probably why I didn’t feel any abandonment issues, hatred or any negative feelings toward my parents. My grandparents have always filled the hole of having a broken family.”—Migs
Becoming independent
“At age 7 or 8, I would always see my parents fighting and hurting each other. One day, I told them, ‘Maghiwalay na lang kayo, away kayo nang away.’ They stopped.
“Life after the separation was messy. In high school, I decided to leave the house since neither of them were around anyway. I started working at a fast food joint when I was 15. I became independent really early. Hindi ako naghanap ng kalingangmagulang. It was just me and my brother. In some ways, I became numb.
“But I didn’t feel bad that they separated. It was better in many ways. They were young then and there were things they needed to do. At least they stopped fighting.”—Mich
Crying
“At first, I thought I wasn’t affected. But deep inside, it was difficult. Especially when my father would drop us off at my mom’s place after spending time with him on weekends. Laging mabigat sa pakiramdam ko yung lakad sa driveway.
“One night, I just found myself crying. But things got better after that, though my mom said I stopped being in honors class after the separation. I guess it affected my studies, too.”—Angelo
Focus on studying
“I decided I wasn’t going to be a victim of their separation. I focused on studying and on planning my future. I thrived. I just wish they stopped badmouthing each other. It would have saved me a lot of stress.”—Joyce
Running the household
“I was 21 when my parents, who were in an unconventional relationship (not married), decided to split up. My mom was so miserable that I was relieved when they went their separate ways (I even gave her my blessing). She moved to the States and left me in charge of running the household and being a substitute “mom” to my two brothers who were 15 and 13 at the time.
“Did I let it affect me negatively? Not really. Things could have been worse, they could’ve stayed together and ended up resenting each other and maybe even us, for forcing them to tolerate an unhappy situation.
“Because my parents weren’t married, some of the adults around us said we were part of a ‘broken home’ and that it would impact us children negatively in the form of unplanned pregnancies, drug use.
“My brothers and I are now adults. None of us have gotten into unplanned pregnancies or had done drugs, and the only thing we are addicted to until now is watching TV.”—Mimi