DEAR EMILY,
I’m half-Chinese, and we still have this tradition of parents interfering in their children’s relationships.
I went to Australia in November 2011 and there tried this dating website where I met someone. He is 41 and I’m 27. We started dating in December. He is not stable financially. He has no house and has debts he is paying off slowly.
I felt so different during that date and knew exactly that he was the man I’ve been looking for all my life. It’s like fate brought us together. I am in love for the first time in my life. With this guy it felt I’ve met my equal.
It was difficult to find that special someone in our past relationships, that’s why we are so connected with each other. We are both Aries and have undergone similar experiences. Every day that I spend with him is magical, very romantic, simple and true.
When I went home for a vacation, my guardian in Australia told my dad that they didn’t like my partner. I hadn’t known this before; they probably feared that I wouldn’t go back home anymore. He went ballistic hearing this, as my partner has the power to bring me back to Australia on a fiancée’s visa.
My guardian’s badmouthing of my partner got my parents concerned. They want me to get to know him better. How will I tell them I’m going to process the visa soon?
CONFUSED
The Chinese don’t have the monopoly of worrying over their children. Parents of every species—deadly reptiles included— make sure their offspring are assured a good start in life. And you’re holding this against them? Is being concerned askew to your point of view?
Had you met someone with no problem holding down a job, do you think they’d badmouth him? You certainly can bring him home to your parents—with pride!
Point is, your guardian’s eyes are open wide to see a huge pothole you’re about to fall into. They’re just making sure you don’t break your neck! How bad is that? Either you’re able to see this as well but are trying to ignore it, or have no inkling there’s even danger ahead. You are so crazy in love! Not everything is roses, you know?
Is it only now that you are discovering how the other half lives? Is this seducing your romantic notion to live that life? Nothing is sweeter than eating that forbidden fruit. Then what? How soon before you wake up from this dream or nightmare? At 27, you have all the right to steer your ship by yourself. Do you have the maturity?
Give your parents and everyone around you some slack. There’s no hidden agenda in them, only this absolute concern that you be happy. Be grateful for their good intentions. It’s great to know you have a safety net in them waiting—in case you wander off and hurt yourself.
([email protected] or emarcelo629@ gmail.com)
