Like most widows, style maven and socialite Victoria Aquino Benoit is trying to move on after what has been the most anguished experience of her life.

 

Last June, she lost her husband, Paul Benoit, after he suffered complications from open-heart surgery. Benoit was a French real estate businessman who was prominent in Paris.

 

Yet, Babette Aquino, as she is known here, says she survived the heartbreak of Benoit’s demise because of her faith.

 

“I went through grief, but I refused to be depressed. Sorrow is a choice,” she waxes philosophically. “My husband is at peace now. I miss him. Although I am alone, I’m never lonesome because God is with me.”

 

In every interview, Aquino talks about straddling the glamorous life and spirituality, the reason for her existence.

 

“Growing up, I never experienced family love. My mother died when I was young… I was married at 18, but it didn’t last because I was searching.

 

“In Paris I looked for love in boyfriends and travels. That was my world then. When I finally experienced the love of God, I decided that He was my priority. Then I met Paul, and I was rewarded with his loyalty.”

 

Aquino is a relative of Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino Jr. She practically grew up with the late senator’s mother, Doña Aurora Aquino.

 

Baby boomers and Gen-Xers will remember Aquino as a bon vivant and designer of Manna, a French-styled fashion label at Rustan’s.

 

Fashion design began as a hobby. Pregnant at 17 and a mother and wife at 18, she busied herself by designing clothes.

 

Her mother-in-law provided the fabrics, while the seamstress executed Aquino’s ideas.

 

Friends from Assumption liked her wardrobe and asked her to make their clothes. The business evolved into a dress shop in Quezon City.

 

To tap a new market, she and business partner Chingbee Kalaw opened a boutique in Makati that offered evening clothes. They shared space at Budjiwara, the hair salon of Aquino’s cousin, Antonio “Budji” Layug, who trained with Vidal Sassoon in London. Budjiwara became the iconic hair salon brand of the ’70s.

 

After eight years, Aquino’s marriage to Dr. Ben Salud ended. With her sons Joselito, Benedicto and Roberto in her husband’s custody, she moved to Paris to lead a bohemian and jet-setting lifestyle. She was then 26.

 

She found a job as a fitting model for the House of Kenzo. Having a foothold in the fashion industry, Aquino established connections to start her garment business.

 

Wholesalers provided her with French labels that were sold in boutiques in Manila.

 

No longer restless

 

In 1982, she met a friend who had transformed herself from a life of excess. “She was worse than I, but she found what she was searching for. She became a Born Again Christian. I don’t use that label a lot because it turns off people. It’s nothing more than having a personal relationship with God.

 

“I was no longer restless, like having a boyfriend here and there. I realized that life was not found in the world.”

 

As Aquino’s business investments prospered, she started garment production in Hong Kong. Her label, Babette Aquino, was sold at Galeries Lafayette.

 

Steeped in her renewed faith, she created a new label, Manna, meaning “grace from God.” The label was manufactured in Hong Kong and the Philippines and exported to other countries.

 

Her Swiss fiancé, a partner in Cosa Liebermann, an industrial and consumer products marketing group, opened doors for opportunities. She supplied embroidered clothes and modern piña to such designer brands as Lanvin and Giorgio Armani.

 

“The piña was worn as an overcoat or used as lining for an embroidered tulle top. You could mix it with a tank or camisole top and jeans,” she says.

 

Life in Paris

 

Aquino met Benoit in the Philippine Embassy in Paris. “He was the only one who could sell the building to the embassy. He gave them two years’ credit so that they could buy it,” she recalls.

 

Benoit wanted to meet some businessmen in Hong Kong, so Aquino met with him briefly.

 

Meanwhile, she had decided to split up with her Swiss fiancé, who was still legally married.

 

“Here I was claiming to be spiritual, but I wasn’t living what I had preached. I had to leave him,” she says.

 

The Philippine embassy arranged a meeting again with Benoit, who was doing business with the Department of Foreign Affairs in Manila.

 

She and Benoit hit it off. After a three-month courtship, he proposed to Aquino, giving her a six-carat diamond. She recounts what he told her: “I want you to know that I love you more and I offer you my name.”

 

They were married in 1992 in a Christian ceremony, a garden wedding in the home of Josine Elizalde, Aquino’s bosom friend.

 

Benoit’s only request was that she devote her life to family, instead of her career. The dutiful wife, she would accompany him on business trips to Madrid and Brazil and to restaurants as he entertained business contacts.

 

The Benoits lived in Paris’ most affluent neighborhood, called the “Golden Triangle” which is near the Palais Elysée.

 

Although she gave up Manna, Aquino served as buyer for former garment clients from Hong Kong, and did styling for friends now and then.

 

But her main passion was holding Bible studies at home and preaching in churches in Paris.

 

She would be invited to churches attended by Filipino domestic helpers. “I encourage them to be proud of being Filipino. They are not just maids. I make them realize they are heroes. They should adapt to the culture of the French. I teach them good grooming. If you go for an interview, wear the right dress and say, ‘Yes Madame.’ To be accepted here, you must always greet, ‘Bonjour.’ It’s the politesse (etiquette).”

 

Despite the Benoits’ personality differences, the marriage was harmonious. She attended his Catholic Mass services and he allowed her to spread the Word. Aquino would entertain Filipino friends in their posh apartment and Benoit did not mind keeping to himself in his room, although he also enjoyed the company of Aquino’s friends.

 

“I didn’t abuse. I had liberty. My marriage was made of love and trust,” she says. “Through him, I was able to help a lot of people,” she adds. For instance, she would source jobs for domestic helpers from Benoit’s social circle.

 

To raise funds for Supertyphoon “Yolanda” survivors, Aquino organized Paris for the Philippines (PFTP) with young Filipino women married to Frenchmen. It raised over 10,000 euros, which was then donated to Gawad Kalinga.

 

Transitions

 

Early last June, her niece Karmela Oreta and her Spanish husband were on a visit in Paris. Karmela noticed that Benoit was pallid and lethargic. She insisted that he get a checkup.

 

He did, and it was discovered that he had three blocked arteries. He had to undergo open-heart surgery.

 

Although the procedure was successful, a few days later, doctors had to put him in a forced coma to treat a lung infection.

 

When he came to, Benoit was tense and restless. The doctors suspected another infection.

 

Benoit grew weaker.

 

He died surrounded by Aquino and such close friends as Mario Katigbak of Hermes and Bulgari. Benoit was 75.

 

On the first night after Benoit’s death, Aquino instinctively opened the Old Testament to Isaiah 54, which was dedicated to widows. “The verse ‘For your Maker is your husband’ was an assurance,” she says.

 

“Still, the hardest time is in the evening. At 8:40 p.m. we would watch old movies. When my husband passed away, I couldn’t watch TV. In the morning, he’d join me for breakfast. He would let me enter the car first. He was from the old school. In Spain they called him caballero (cavalier.)”

 

Moving on

 

While other widows would be so consumed by pain that they would be unable to work, Aquino would channel her energy to being with friends and sharing her experiences.

 

Now she has to deal with issues of widowhood, such as deciding if she should settle in Paris or Manila, and handling her husband’s business. Fortunately, Benoit’s partner, Philippe Berman, was like family to the couple.

 

Close friend Zenaida Tantoco, president of Rustan’s and Stores Specialists Inc., hosted a commemorative Mass on Benoit’s birthday last Nov. 28 in the family chapel.

 

“It was a touching gesture,” says Aquino. “I was filled with love.”

 

She constantly reminds herself to get out of her grief to continue with her life’s purpose.

 

With wifely duties gone, Aquino plans to open a store named after the Benoit address, “17 rue de Cirque,” which will sell antiques. She’s also planning a fashion comeback.

 

Aquino talks about style in the same breath as spirituality. “Just as in religion, you have a denomination, in fashion you need to define your look. I prefer relaxed dressing, that’s my identity.”

 

For this interview, she wore a loose, white Hermès shirt and black Uniqlo leggings. The best way to determine if a person has flair is if one can pair luxury with high street, she says.

 

Aquino accessorizes with a colorful scarf draped on her shoulders, a pearl necklace and bracelets. She is shod in Lanvin ballerina flats encrusted with crystals.

 

“I wear rubber shoes during the the day and high heels and dresses at night,” she says.

 

Aquino leaves her future to the One. “I’ll go where He wants me to be.”