Growing old and taking life’s detours | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

I am turning 47 today.

Once upon a time, 47 seemed ancient. My mother was widowed at 47. I think of that now and I appreciate even more how difficult it must have been for her back then.

But 47 is definitely far from ancient.  Browsing through the new section “S” which debuted in Lifestyle last Sunday fortifies my belief that life becomes even more interesting after 50 and the pursuit of dreams and adventure knows no age.

Age is, after all, just a number.  If I were to gauge from the columns of Gilda Cordero Fernando, Conchita Razon and Chit Roces, the party’s just starting and the best is yet to be. If GCF says that 80 is the new 60, then I’m only 27 with the whole world at my feet.

Last week I picked up a book entitled “God Doesn’t Blink -50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett. The newspaper columnist had written a book about, yes the 50 most important lessons life had taught her especially after surviving cancer.

One of Brett’s most memorable interviews was with a woman named Ella Mae Johnson who passed away last year at the age of 106. Yes, you read that right.  Johnson’s mother died when she was only four years of age, and she never met her father. She was a social worker and compassion for others was her guiding light.

Brett writes that at age 70, Ella Mae learned to drive. “She stopped driving at 80 so she wouldn’t kill anyone,” the article says.  When she was 100, she read the 9-11 Commission Report, and at 106, she raised $2,000 for Smile Train to repair the cleft palates of poor children and wrote a book.

Brett wrote that Ella Mae measured the success of each day by answering this question—Was I compassionate enough?

My own list

Of course I’m a long way off from 106, but I’d like to believe though that I am now at the mid-point of my life and have earned (hopefully) some degree of wisdom. Taking inspiration from Brett’s book, I took some time this week to look back on my life and list down my Seven@47 :

1. God allows U-turns—No matter how far off the course you find yourself on, you can always turn around because God allows U-turns and He’ll be there waiting for you.  Best-selling author Anne Lamott said, “Grace will never leave you where it first finds you.”  Grace takes you by the hand and guides you always on the way back.

2. Don’t be dismayed by the cracks—Cracks can appear in your significant relationships, in your career, in your plans.  Do not fret, and inside be grateful for the cracks in your life because that’s how His light often comes in, showing you the way that you need to go.

3. Enjoy your time in the cocoon—“Trust the process”—how often have I heard that in the last decade of my life.  There are periods when it seems like nothing is happening and we are stuck. Don’t struggle or flail about. It takes time for a butterfly to earn its wings and growth cannot be forced. So just chill and trust that in the darkness of the cocoon, God is at work.

4. It’s not rejection, it’s redirection—When God says no to some of our plans and dreams, what often looks like a failure initially is just His way of saying “Oops, not there, take this way.”  When He takes away something from us, it only means that He has something better planned.

5. Be gentle and kind always—Words have the power to build up or tear down. When you are tempted to say something harsh, zip it. I always try to remember this in all my roles, but most especially as parent, teacher and friend.  A moment of holding back will save you or the other person from experiencing a thousand sorrows.

6. Remember the lotus—A Buddhist proverb says, “The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud.”  Resilience and true beauty is often a result of having survived the murkiest of waters and the darkest of nights.

7. Hold on to hope and trust in His plan, always—Shortly before she died, Ella Mae Johnson said that she was grateful for having lived a wonderful life. “When I look back over the course of my life,” she wrote, “I realize I never had a master plan: I let the Master plan.”

Today, I give thanks, for all that has been given to me, and all that has been taken away from me, and remain hopeful for all that is yet to be.

E-mail [email protected]   Follow her on Twitter@cathybabao.

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