DEAR EMILY,
I am 18 years old and a part-time model. Recently, I was watching a docudrama about the fear of “coming out of the closet” and it hit close to home. I’m bisexual and neither my family nor my friends know about it.
I first realized my attraction to girls in my freshman year. All those years I thought homosexuality was hereditary. But I was drawn to it by my best girlfriend who is 100-percent heterosexual.
I’m afraid to come out because I don’t want to be ostracized by friends and family. Just thinking about it makes me want to run for cover. My parents are both church leaders. My friends won’t stop asking me about my sexuality and male suitors are itching to hook up with me. I’m fed up with lying.
Now I am seeing someone who is also a model. The difference between her and me is that she has already “come out” to her family. My family and friends have met her and they think she’s just a “special friend” from the runway.
Is what I am feeling wrong? Will I ever be accepted rather than despised?
SECRET LIFE
Have you been living under a rock all this time? Have you not heard how being out is the new norm and is so in nowadays? Many countries have joined the bandwagon and are allowing same-sex marriage! And quite a few of those couples are already going through divorce as well—just like the heteros! Times have, indeed, changed. In this day and age, that’s no big deal anymore
But coming out to religious parents is not easy. They just have to be “educated” little by little to the realities of nature. There’s nothing we humans are doing that are not already being done in the wild. I see “heteros” and “homos” among many animals in nature constantly. That’s a fact.
Tell your parents about who you really are when you are ready, not before. Just go with the flow and be true to your emotions. It’s a no-brainer for people to gauge what you are, when they see that you don’t date men at all. They’ll catch on.
With all the problems in the world, do you think your friends will go home and knock their heads on the wall bewailing your sexuality? They may say “hmmmm…” and throw questioning glances your way—but other than that, this will remain a “to each his own” world.
Don’t worry about what people will say. Worry about yourself and finding that one true love that will last a long time. What you do in private is none of their business!
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com