Married—but thrilled at reconnecting with her first love | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

Dear Emily,

I married my one and only boyfriend—though he was not my first love. My first love was my crush in the elementary grade. He courted me on and off over the years, and though I was very much in love with him, I never gave him a chance. I had this feeling that he only courted me because he knew I was in love with him. I’d hear once in a while that he would ask about me.

Then last year, he surprised me with a call to my cellphone. Everything that I felt for him came rushing back. On Valentine’s Day, he even called me from overseas just to tell me that he will never forget me however long it takes. I felt a tinge of regret not giving him a chance to prove himself to me.

Please don’t misinterpret me. I love my husband of 30 years, as well as my family, and I can’t live without them. I’m pretty sure I am happily married, though we’re not financially stable. It’s just that I feel I have to tell my first love how much he was loved by someone—me—once upon a time.

It’s not love anymore that I feel and it may not be even be important to him to know all that—but I want to lessen the baggage I’ve carried all these years. I am afraid, though, that he might misunderstand my intentions, if I tell him that. Will I be unfaithful to my husband if I do so? — Lady with a Secret


Aren’t we such suckers! What woman wouldn’t be thrilled at the cooing of an old adored love telling her once again that he will never forget her?

But these are just words, and however romantic and lovely they cling to our ears, words are nothing but air. They come, they go, they disappear like bubble.

Unless he pursues you seriously and relentlessly this time—but that’s another story.

You might have loved him dearly no doubt once upon a time. But that little inner voice in your heart told you otherwise, and made you choose your husband instead. There was something about him that made you stop at your tracks and decided not to give him a chance!

Despite your excitement now, be aware that this old love could be a dead star. A dead star appears blindingly bright from afar—but it is dead at the source.

Talk to him if you want, flirt with him if you care to, and relish the excitement of your youth once more. But, try not to rock your marriage unnecessarily. There might be too great a price to pay later, and for what—just being sentimental?

Remember the saying, “from the frying pan to the fire?” Be forewarned.

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