DEAR Emily,
I’m bisexual and no one in my family or among friends know about it. I am 22 years old and I work in a hospital.
I first realized my attraction to girls in my first year in college. All those years I thought homosexuality was hereditary. But I was drawn into it by my best girlfriend who is 100-percent heterosexual.
I’m afraid to come out because I don’t want to be ostracized by friends and family. They know that I go on dates with men in my industry and also get courted by married men.
Just thinking about it makes me want to run for cover. My parents are both church leaders. I’m fed up with lying.
Now I am seeing someone. The difference between her and me is that she has already come out to her family. My family and friends have met her and they think she’s just a “special friend.”
Is what I am feeling wrong? Will I ever be accepted rather than despised?
JULE
Your story is not unique, outrageous or even shameful. Nobody has the right to judge your sexuality.
As an environmentalist, I see the “heteros” and “homos” documented in nature constantly. There’s nothing we humans are doing that are not already being done in the wild.
That’s a fact. Just watch what’s shown in nature shows on TV and read their stories to update your knowledge on what’s happening around us.
You may tell your parents about your concern when you are ready, not before. Just go with the flow of your emotions and be true to it.
Those who care for you will catch on. In this day and age, that’s no big deal anymore.
With all the problems in the world, do you think your friends will go home and knock their heads on the wall bewailing your sexuality? They may say “hmmm…” and throw questioning glances your way momentarily, but other than that, this will remain a to-each-his/her-own world.
Don’t worry about what people will say. Worry about yourself and finding that one true love that will last a long time. What you do in private is none of their business!
E-mail the author at emarcelo @inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629 @gmail.com.