“Do You Love Me?,” one of the songs in the musical “Fiddler on the Roof,” is an exchange between Tevye and his wife of 25 years, Golde. They reflect on their own marriage as their daughter, Hodel, has just asked for their blessing for her engagement. Tevye and Golde’s own union was an arranged marriage.
When Tevye asks, “Do you love me?,” Golde initially dismisses it and retorts, “Do you love me? You’re upset, you’re worn out. Go inside, go lie down! Maybe it’s indigestion.”
But as he persists, she responds with, “Do I love you? For 25 years I’ve washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow. After 25 years, why talk about love right now?”
Later she says, “I suppose I do.” To which Tevye adds, “And I suppose I love you, too.”
The scene is a good reminder for us to look back to the original inspiration of our existence, the rhyme and reason of why we live our life the way we do.
Today’s Gospel has an interesting situation that shows us the need to always stay connected to our original inspiration for mission.
It opens with the 12 Apostles reporting to Christ the many wonderful tasks they did in their ministry—mission accomplished! So Christ gives them a much-deserved break for a job well done.
But as they set out for their R&R, they are confronted with a situation. Christ “saw a vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd.”
He then sets aside his plans.
He allows others to touch and move him to respond to their needs, and forgets the rest and recreation for himself.
Balance
So, where does the balance between efficiency and effectivity lie? This point of equilibrium is found only in love and compassion.
This is what Ignatius of Loyola calls being a contemplative in action: “Love is best expressed in deeds.”
We’ve heard of the story about Pope Francis slipping out of his Vatican quarters at night, presumably incognito, to be with and work among the poor and the homeless on the streets of Rome.
When he was already busy as the first Superior General of the Society of Jesus, Ignatius cherished the moments when he could go out to the streets of Rome to be in touch with the people for whom he works.
There is a story about the late, great Fr. Horacio de la Costa, SJ (the first Filipino Provincial Superior of the Philippine Province of the Jesuits), when he served as an assistant—equivalent to a cabinet member—to then Superior General Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ, in Rome. One day Arrupe was looking for De la Costa. Not finding him in his office or in any part of the Generalate, Arrupe went to De la Costa’s bedroom and knocked. When he was allowed to enter, he saw De la Costa working on a model of a ship which is now displayed in Ateneo de Manila University.
Arrupe was supposed to have gently said, “Horacio, I think it is time for you to go back home to the Philippines.”
De la Costa did as he was told. And after a distinguished career as a Jesuit superior, administrator, scholar and nationalist, he returned to his “first love” and spent the last years of his life teaching history in Ateneo.
Love and compassion
These stories portray for us the necessary balance between efficiency and effectivity. The greater temptation is to be efficient without being effective.
Love and compassion, in their authentic forms, will lead to action, deeds done out of love and compassion.
The morning I wrote this reflection, I was praying over this question of finding the right balance between efficiency and effectivity not simply because of the need to explain it, but more because of the need to guide some of my colleagues.
The answer that came in prayer was what started my own journey 12 years ago to discern and eventually decide to leave what seemed like the most logical career path to pursue what God wanted me to do, my God-ordained mission.
“Do you love me?” It is always a good point for evaluation. In the midst of the many things we do, in our efforts to serve and make our world a little bit better, it is good to ask, do we do it out of love for God and others?