She’s uncomfortable with a married colleague’s undue attention | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022


DEAR Emily,


I am a single, 47-year-old woman with a stable job in a multinational company here in Manila.


My problem is with a male co-worker. He is showering me with unnecessary attention and it’s making me uncomfortable. He would text me when he wakes up in the morning and after work when he gets home. And in the middle of the day I’d get a text from him asking how I’m doing. I didn’t think much of it initially and would reply to his texts casually.


Under normal circumstances this will all be flattering because I had a slight crush on him when he first joined the company. But he is married with a child!


I don’t want to presume there is anything serious here because he has not revealed any feelings behind his casual texts. But I also don’t want this to develop further into anything serious. How do I stop this without hurting his feelings?




If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck—is it presumptuous to call it a duck? Oh, let’s! Isn’t it just being honest?


Why else will he show so much attention to you if he weren’t interested? Why are you in his mind first thing when he wakes up, in the middle of work and at the end of the day?


Isn’t his married status bullet-proof enough? He is not single nor separated. He is MARRIED (upper case), with a child to boot. What’s he doing being the curtain-raiser of the day and almost stalking you?


He is clearly casing the joint—and looking at how you’d react to his advances. He could be one of those men on the prowl looking at possibilities in someone like you—single, attractive and friendly—and asking the interminable question: Why not?


You’re the only person who could straighten him out and put a stop to this text barrage. Answer his unsolicited texts messages with emoticon symbols if you wish, to be civilized about it. Or ignore him completely.


There is nothing much you can do at this stage for lack of anything you can nail on him. You cannot confront him to stop, as he might feign ignorance should you start accusing him.


Just remember that the ball is in your court.


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