DEAR Emily,
I am in my late 20s and I have a boyfriend of one year. He and I were already planning to get married when a third party suddenly came into the picture. She’s the new officemate in my boyfriend’s work place. They have become constant textmates even after work.
My boyfriend told me I have nothing to worry about because I am the only one for him. But the situation got worse when the girl broke up with her longtime boyfriend because of him.
I took the initiative to stay away from him because I know something’s going on between them. During the holidays, I vowed not to let him know how much I was hurting and just played it cool.
I noticed the change in him and how much better he treats me now. I don’t want to raise my hopes that he wants to come back to me again, because they are still working together. I don’t want to go through the same pain. What should I do to make sure that I can trust him again and that he’s worth a second chance?
REALLY SAD
Love sucks sometimes, doesn’t it? But look at how wonderful it was to your advantage, when he changed for the better after you played it cool? Men are eternal butterflies—the more you chase them, the faster they fly away from you.
If you want him to stay and be serious this time, get as far away from him as you can, and continue being indifferent. Continue at what you’re doing now. This will make him guess and worry whether he can win you back again.
But be friendly enough to keep him at arm’s length. It will be difficult at first not to succumb to his efforts, especially when your exploding heart wants to accept him already. Play it cool. Make him pursue you as he should. Your reward could very well be a trip… down the altar.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com