DEAR Emily,
I’ve been married for almost 35 years and I thought my marriage was made in heaven until I discovered that my husband has a girlfriend on the side. I confronted him and the woman but they denied their affair!
My husband made promises to be good till kingdom come but I am a person who cannot put back the trust once it is destroyed. I would have wanted my marriage annulled had I not been thinking of my children’s future.
The mistress is very manipulative and is able to control things to make her look good. I am planning to tell her husband and their children of this illicit relationship, just to get even. Do you think I am on the right track?
NONA
Isn’t your anguish making you act a bit like a fishwife? Breathe deeply and pretend you are to the “manner” born.
Getting your revenge on unsuspecting persons is so yucky and uncool! Why drag innocent parties into this misery of yours? What did the poor husband and kids of that woman do to you to subject them to such humiliation and pain?
If there’s anybody you have to make war with, it’s your SOB of a husband. No one else but that creep! Clearly, he is the problem. Stop blaming outside parties in this affair—not even that home wrecker.
If you want revenge, clobber him, put fire ants in his pants, pour laxatives in his oatmeal if you desire. But contain your battles where they belong—in private. Don’t even let your children and household help hear what you’re fighting about.
Why even bother to confront this mistress and drag yourself in the mire? It would be easier to plead to a tse-tse fly not to bite you, than ask her to stay away from your husband.
If his mind were not so vulnerable and truly impenetrable, no amount of seduction would make him succumb to the wiles and maneuverings of this manipulative woman.
And if you say you cannot ever forgive your husband again with this indiscretion, I have news for you. You will—eventually. Time heals all hurts and wounds. If not, then make yourself the best woman you can ever be in spite of all the hurt.
Your husband can come in and out of your life but you have you to deal with, every waking moment of the day. Keep your sanity. There’s nothing like having your self-respect intact and being able to look, feel and act with dignity. That’s something he can’t rob you of.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629 @gmail.com.