Words, once uttered, can only be forgiven, not forgotten
I went to a housewarming last week. The new homeowners are a little boy I knew in California (now all grown!) and his wife. They have a daughter, 4, and a son, almost 2.
This made me ponder once again about the hurried pace of time. Yes, tempus does fugit.
It was a close family gathering, with me the least blood-related in attendance. But I have a long history with their parents and grandparents, and for the past couple of decades they have adopted me as their official surrogate mom and lola, and I love it.
There was laughter and genuine camaraderie over delicious cheeses and wine, and then a sumptuous lunch. Conversation was interesting, animated. The topics covered building costs, the approaching holidays and traffic, a sale of Charmin at S&R and, along those lines, the endless stream of candidates for 2016.
We discussed the partner-less hopefuls. Happily, we were all in agreement of who not to vote for. There were no arguments.
One of the young guests, raised in the US, wanted to know why we vote for candidates from different parties. Was it always this way?
Shame on me, I couldn’t remember. I was too young then to care about politics. She asked if there was also an overabundance of wannabes then, and were their intentions just as dark and devious as we see them today?
Frankly I wish I knew. I also wish I could explain the logic behind our system. For as long as I can remember it has been like this: multiple parties and mixed tickets. Choosing your favorite is almost like picking win, place or show when you bet on horses.
Can someone refresh my memory so I can explain it to the young ones who think the idea is preposterous and maybe even stupid? I hope there is an explanation that sounds reasonable. In the meantime, we have halo-halo and will soon see people thrown under the bus. Interesting!
Bless the little children
I remember in the good old once upon a time, grownups were cautious about what they said “in front of the children.” If anyone got careless, eyes would roll and elbows got nudged and someone would say under her breath: “Hay moros en la costa.”
The literal translation would most likely be politically incorrect today, but it was said “with malice toward none” just to let people know that there were ears in the vicinity that shouldn’t hear what they were saying; that the coast was not clear.
Well, you know what they say: “What should not be heard by little ears should not be said by big mouths.” Still, we need to be careful when speaking out our opinions and biases.
At a recent dinner, we had a lively discussion about the traffic, the floods, the inane political discourses on TV. Some in the group were all bent out of shape about it and became excessively vocal and colorful with their opinions.
In raised voices, they placed blame on everyone in authority. These are very likely the same people who won’t lift a finger to bring change to the situation.
At any rate, they were having a field day blaming everything, even the weather, on everyone in government. I heard them say: “This is the Philippines, so what can you expect?” And with a wistful sigh, they rattled off comparisons with life in the United States and elsewhere. I was not happy.
Disrespectful drivel
There were children within earshot of this discussion, and it bothered me that these little ears were listening to such disrespectful drivel about their country.
Are we not tasked with the raising of this new generation of Filipinos, hopefully tomorrow’s leaders, and teaching them about the fear of God and love of country? Instead, we sit in cozy comfort under beautiful Philippine skies lambasting our government and our people? Shame on us!
Let’s be honest now. When was the last time you checked if there were children around before you said something that was not too nice about your country, about anything?
They say: “Children hear everything we say and mimic everything we do. We must give them a good example.” Our words are gospel truth to them. They may think, if grownups say the country stinks, it probably does. Pity.
Be kind
How many times has someone said something really mean to you and then said, “Just kidding,” assuming wrongly that, by saying that, she expunges the damage her words have caused?
There is no way to cover up an unkind remark, or make it any softer or remove from it the sting it carries or extract the bitter barb it leaves in the heart for all time. When was the last time you spoke words you wanted to take back, but couldn’t?
Today our electronic messages are often blamed for broken relationships. We deliver anger with punctuation marks or big bold fonts, and, to make matters worse, the recipient gives it a voice. Then all hell breaks loose. Let’s face it; when you give nasty, you get nasty.
Instead, let kindness direct everything we say. Kind words are easy to speak, and they remain in the heart forever.
Listen to the wise man who said, “Be careful with your words because once they are uttered they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.”