DEAR EMILY,
This family problem is something I consider terribly anomalous in our Christian community. We are religious leaders where we belong, and people look up to us.
A niece committed a sin in the family when she got pregnant by her first cousin. The erring man is somewhat of a cad, and couldn’t be bothered with what he had done.
Now, the niece has a suitor who loves her more than his life, and wants to marry her and start a ready-made family with her. She doesn’t love him and would go through it just to save face. There are only a few of us in the family who know of this problem. What’s the world coming to?
UNCLE DEAREST
Forget about sin. Relationships between first cousins are as old as time. The primary problem here is genetics, not morality. Your family is not the first to experience this.
All the secrecy about this pregnancy is almost ridiculous. It’s not something you can hide in a closet and forget just like that. How old are these people anyway?
If the niece is still of school age, then marriage is out of the question, as you will only be compounding a problem with a deeper problem.
If they’re adults and are really not in love, then clearly, marriage is definitely out of the question. Even the marriage proposal of this man willing to marry your niece shouldn’t even be discussed. One marries for love, not to save face.
This should be discussed— quietly, sensibly, with absolutely no hysterics. No more under-the-table maneuverings! What’s done is done.
There’s another person about to come into this world, and it’s only fair that its rights be protected this early.
And please, don’t drag innocent people into the fray just to save face. Your friends and neighbors don’t really care what’s happening to other people’s lives once they enter their own homes. They have their own problems to contend with.
It’s best to lay the cards out on the table and tell the truth. Truth will give you strength. And stop already this moralistic hogwash.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.