NEW YORK—Leaving home for another country comes with physical and emotional struggles.
When we embark on a new journey abroad, we leave with a purpose, determination and a renewed sense of being. Eager for a new adventure, we rarely look back because we’re just too excited over what lies ahead. Leaving what was once our solid foundation makes us feel liberated and independent.
Soon, our concept of “home” drastically changes. “Home” becomes a dorm room where privacy is a rare treat.
“Home” is a small corner amid two or three other small corners.
“Home” is a shared space between strangers randomly brought together.
For the next few years, “home” is temporary, a reflection of the constant change in our lives.
In time, we are overcome by feelings of homesickness. We begin to miss family and the idea of a fixed home. When the first short holiday arrives, we watch fellow classmates leave to be with their families. To them, home is but a few hours away by car; to us, it is the width of the Atlantic Ocean, easily a 17-hour flight.
At some point, Skype, Viber and FaceTime are not enough. We crave a physical closeness with loved ones that we cannot experience until Christmas vacation. Some have to wait a little longer.
Ambassadors
As a Filipino studying in New York City, I have gone through bouts of homesickness, so much so that I actually miss Edsa traffic. When you cannot use colloquial Filipino terms such as hay nako or kwento anymore, you realize the vast distance that separates you from your roots. You suddenly find yourself adapting to another environment, changing
yourself to fit the culture.
However, what many fail to realize is the fact that we bring our distinct and unique culture wherever we go. In this sense, we should be ambassadors for our home country. Instead of striving to assimilate a new culture, we should proudly uphold our own. Thus, finding and connecting with fellow Filipinos in a foreign land gives us a sense of being “home away from home.”
Making friends with fellow Filipinos during my time in New York City has made my sense of “home” more concrete. I find comfort in people who carry an invisible flag of the Philippines with them.
‘Get yourself out there’
“One of the initial difficulties of studying in New York was the loneliness. But what helped me deal with the loneliness was realizing that pretty much everyone in my class was in the same situation as I was. They, too, were far away from home, and were hoping to find a sense of community and friendship with people here. That led me to be more open and comfortable with my roommate, floor mates, classmates and club mates.
“If there’s one tip I can give for making a ‘home’ away from home, it’s this: Get yourself out there. Make it a point to talk to the people around you and join clubs. There’s a community out there waiting for you, but it won’t come to your doorstep.” —Francis Santos, New York University ’19
“In the Philippines, getting a group of Filipino friends is too common; in America, getting a group of Filipino friends is rare. Studying abroad is a great way to make new friends and form new experiences. I guarantee that the chances of NOT feeling alone abroad is 100%; there are so many people out there who can relate to the same experiences you have.” —Justin Pe, NYU ’17
“I had to actively seek out Filipinos here in Dartmouth. Once we all gathered, a community slowly began to emerge, and now we have started planning things together. Though there isn’t a Filipino club in my university, I hope to see one soon.” —Benjamin Adapon, Dartmouth College ’19
“I put up Christmas lights and decorations early just like we do back home. Also, having a stash of dried mangoes helps a lot!” —Barbara Jance, American Musical and Dramatic Academy of New York ’19
“I make it a point to visit Johnny Air Mart every now and then just to feel that Filipino vibe. I buy pancit canton, bring it back to my dorm and pretend I am home again for a little while.” —Anonymous, NYU ’19
“I put pictures of my family up on my wall, and I try as much as possible to get out and make friends. Home for me is wherever I feel most comfortable so I’m very lucky to have a close group of people who make me feel at home and welcome. Also, some small reminders of Manila help, like a Philippine flag coffee mug.” —Kenneth Hopkins, Pace University ’19
“People talk about homesickness but I never really got that. Sometimes I feel like I fit in here more than in the Philippines. From day one, everyone was just so friendly to me, I could express myself here more than in Manila.” —Jethro Wijaja, Pace University ’19
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