TRAFFIC, the elections, the holiday rush, people getting sick… we can go on and on. So many stressors, and it’s the kind of December with a temperature that feels more like summer.
Just this week, both my children were sick and had me rushing to the urgent care unit and emergency room of St. Luke’s Medical Center in Global City (which, by the way, has such excellent and prompt service and great caring). This was just after we moved to a new home less than a month ago, where boxes and boxes of stuff still lay around.
How does one keep calm and stay positive amid stress? How does one keep the spirit of Christmas alive in one’s heart?
Below are a few tried-and-tested methods to keep your sunshine and calm during these stressful December days.
1) Find something to look forward to each day. It can be as simple as catching the latest movie (“Star Wars”!) or touching base with a long-lost friend, someone you haven’t reached out to in ages, or carving out some “me” time on a frazzled day. It really doesn’t have to be anything major.
On a stressful day, I like walking three blocks to have some comfort food in one of my favorite restaurants. Making deliberate, concrete plans gives you something to look forward to on a day when it’s difficult to get out of bed.
Small tokens
2) Celebrate the small things. Find joy in the simplest of things. Giving small tokens of appreciation to people you work for, sending an encouraging SMS to a friend, buying a friend or colleague coffee all make for sprinkles of joy. “Throw kindness around like confetti,” be generous in every way that you can think of.
3) Kindness, always. Everyone you meet fights a battle you know nothing about, says one Facebook meme. So be kind. Back in the mid-’80s, I used to work with a lady who was very grumpy all the time. She seemed so haughty, and wore a perpetual scowl. It was only recently that I learned that she had lost both her children in one of the maritime accidents in the late ’70s.
Anger was her armor to shield her from the pain of remembering, and she kept everyone at bay with her grumpy attitude.
Nowadays, whenever I encounter someone with an attitude, I like to imagine them as little children and what their lives were like, what difficulties they might have encountered that contributed to their obnoxious or nasty behavior. Somehow, it helps dissipate my irritation toward that person.
4) Don’t dwell on or mope over what could have been. My mother has a phrase for it: “Huwag na iyang mga sana-sana…”
Looking back has its pluses, only when you look back to remember hard-earned lessons. Dwelling on problems is negative energy. Let sadness be a catalyst, but not to paralyze you. Let the negativity or the sadness propel you forward, don’t let it suck you downward into an endless vortex. In the event that you are unable to pull yourself up, seek help from friends (but don’t be a perennial wet blanket), or seek professional help.
5) Keep busy. Don’t deny what it is that hurts you, but take the necessary steps to structure your days and fill your life with meaningful activities. Pay it forward, take a new class, meet new people, open yourself up to new experiences. Continue to grow. Don’t let your age stop you.
6) Don’t pressure yourself about beating the Dec. 25 deadline. True friends will understand how, in the face of horrible traffic, you may not make the Christmas Day deadline. Christmas parties abound, but when you think about it, get-togethers can actually be had all year-round. Choose wisely.
Stay energized
7) Exercise to stay energized. There’s something magical about movement that keeps sadness or negativity at bay. Some people prefer to work out in the morning, others in the early evening. Something as simple as taking a walk around the neighborhood, or going for a swim, is an effective way of increasing your endorphins (happy hormones). We were all built to move, so unless you are stewing in traffic, try as much as you can to get up every hour to keep the energy flowing.
8) Breathe and pray. Everything passes (even traffic). Help is always just a prayer away. Too simplistic for you? Try it.
Let me close this column with something I read today from a writer named Daniell Koepke: “I’ve learned that sometimes the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places; that sometimes, the most toxic people can teach us the most important lessons. I’ve learned that our most painful struggles can grant us the most growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people.
“I’ve learned that what seems like a curse in the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path… that even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep going, and picking ourselves back up, and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.”
The last month of the year is the perfect time to quiet the spirit, to reflect on what was, to look forward and pray for what is yet to be, and above all, to remember and give thanks for the real reason behind the season. Here’s to a quiet and meaningful December.
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bykate@gmail.com