Your mantra for the week: “Love is the greatest gift I can give myself.”
IT IS Valentine’s Day and people are talking about love, making love or just spreading love all around.
However, there are those without partners or that special someone. Their question is, when and where will I find my Valentine?
As strange as it seems, the answer is in loving and approving of yourself the way that you are. Those who truly love themselves unconditionally have no trouble attracting a queue of admirers and potential partners. To paraphrase the biblical Parable of the Talents, “To those who truly love themselves, more love shall be given and to those who love themselves a little, even the few who admire them will be taken away.”
Loving oneself has been mistaken to be just an ego trip or simply being selfish, but that is not so. Psychology has shown that if one cannot love oneself, one would be incapable of really loving others. There is a big difference between being selfish and being self-ish. Being selfish is loving yourself solely to the exclusion of others, and self-ish is likened to loving your neighbor as yourself.
Steps to loving one’s self
So, if you are by yourself today, it is about time to have a love affair with yourself. First, think of all the wonderful qualities you have, affirm them until your subconscious mind accepts them all to be the truth about you; that is the first step.
The second step is to release the negatives of the past, remembering only the lessons and not the hurts.
The third is to forgive all those who have hurt you, especially those who were your former partners or lovers. When one has not forgiven a former partner, one would almost surely attract another partner of the same kind or worse.
The fourth is to ask yourself the questions: Am I ready for a commitment? Do I have the time or the inclination to do this? All these are necessary for one to have a successful and fulfilled love life.
The fifth—if you say yes to the fourth—what qualities do you desire for your partner to have? After making the list, study what you can do to match these. You may desire an intelligent, well-read personality and yet find yourself enjoying reading mostly comic books.
Many ladies expect to find their Prince Charming, forgetting that Prince Charming met Cinderella at the ball and not when she was in the kitchen playing maid to her stepsisters. Gentlemen who desire a trophy partner while looking and behaving like a desperado may never win her. In short, we have to match in frequency those we desire to have in our lives as partners.
Sixth, we must look at relationships as a place to give and not to take. Most people desire a partnership where they can receive rather than give and, thus, are ultimately disappointed with the union.
The seventh step is to figure out the importance of a partner in your life. What number would it occupy in your list of priorities? There are those who are simply in need of sexual buddies and not lifetime partners.
Eighth, make sure that you are not dependent on this alliance for your happiness.
Ninth, stop all gossip and conversations with others in regard to separations, divorces, annulments and all kinds of broken relationships, for these are blocks to your desire to have a happy union with another.
Tenth, tithe. This may sound strange to a lot of people, but this kind of giving opens the doors not only to prosperity but also to harmonious and loving relationships.
Eleventh, stop looking for partners; wait until they find you.
Visual artist
Once upon a time, Love Marie Ongpauco was just a pretty face, and when she blossomed she became the beautiful movie and TV star Heart Evangelista. Today, she has bloomed further and has become a reputable visual artist.
Last Jan. 29, I received an invitation for her fourth solo exhibit, “Oceans Apart,” at the Artist Space of Ayala Museum. When I walked into Art Space, I was surprised to find out that all paintings had already been pre-sold except for the one titled “Chiz+Heart,” which she and Sen. Chiz Escudero worked on together. It is, indeed, a dream come true for any artist.
So when the senator, in his DZMM interview for “Ikaw Na Ba,” was asked who was richer because in his SALN he reported only P8 million plus, he said, “Malayo ang yaman ni Heart sa akin.” That is truly believable because based on her income alone as a painter, she could easily match that amount.
Love Marie says she “enjoys painting every day,” which means that between her income as an artist, actress and endorser, she would surely be earning more than the senator.
Love Marie’s works are collectors’ items not only because she could become the “second lady” of the country, but because her paintings are truly excellent and exude a certain knowingness of life beyond the figures that are found on the canvas.
Poetry book
Love Marie collaborated with AA Patawaran for his first poetry book “Hai(na)ku and Other Poems,” which was launched earlier this week at The Peninsula Manila.
Those who are asking why the title “Hai(na)ku” are clearly not familiar with the Japanese form of poetry called haiku and, therefore, would not find its intended humor.
Patawaran’s book begins with a dramatic line: “Only half of me was born, the other half I was born to find.” The other half is really a search for the God within, but in the world of romance, it is looking for one’s better half or a partner, as the first part of this column has illustrated. When one listens to a love song and you change that loved one into God, you will find the song taking on a more profound meaning, as in God is really Love.
To a certain extent, Jullie Yap Daza’s foreword unconsciously gleans what I am trying to illustrate: “The lover is here, suffering, yearning, pining, regretting, exulting, but where, who is the beloved?” The beloved is the author’s higher self waiting to be discovered. Hainaku, ang ganda ng libro ni AA Patawaran.
Mav’s dreamscapes
Still at the Peninsula, Marivic “Mav” Rufino opened her 18th solo exhibit, “Luminescence Dreamscapes 2016.”
“It took more than four years to put this show together,” she said. I particularly like her painted screen dividers that make one feel like they were entrances to a different dimension of experience.
The Peninsula Gallery was filled to the brim with friends and supporters headed by Miguel Realmonte, GM Mark Choon, Ambassador Isabel Wilson, Ambassador Ching Escaler, Linda Ley, Leo Valdez, Dr. Randy Francisco, Tess Schoefer and a host of others.
Talk of the town
The talk of the town is the fashion show that featured 60 models of different ages, shapes and forms, modeling clothes with no mention of their designers. According to one of the guests, “They just kept coming and coming and coming. There was so much enrichment but, unfortunately, you will find more culture in a laboratory.”
E-mail the columnist at georgedfsison@gmail.com; visit www.GeorgeSison.com and www.iamism.org. Listen to his “Positive Session” radio program on DWIZ 882 AM every Saturday, 9-10 p.m.