I am 44 and an engineer working abroad. I have been married and divorced for 10 years—no kids.
I met a nurse in a hospital here who is 12 years my junior. She is an only child and has been at her job for almost two years. We’ve gone dating and have casual sex. We’d agreed from the start that we’d have no commitment to each other.
She’s fun, but she’s really a kid at heart who loves to party and go shopping mostly. When she found out I was going back to Manila for a two-month vacation, she asked me to bring home some stuff for her mother. She’s a widow and also a nurse in a government hospital.
When I met her mother, I was not ready for what I saw. I had this notion that she’d be fat and old. I couldn’t believe how young and beautiful she was. She’s in her 50s, and didn’t look it! She must have thought I was stupid because I just stared at her. I was speechless.
Call it love at first sight. I caught her at a busy time in the hospital and just left her the stuff. I promised myself to see her again. She was surprised when I called her up a day after to invite her for coffee. I was touched that she showed much interest about my life abroad.
We talked about her daughter who she said Skypes her weekly. I tried not to sound so interested in her for fear of scaring her, but since I had only two months of home leave, I asked her if we could go out during her off days. That surprised her again.
I liked her because she was very different—uncomplicated, soft-spoken, humble and just nice. Finally, after a few more outings, I had to express how I felt for her. I never had an inkling I would fall for her—hard.
I confessed to her my relationship with her daughter, and that my feelings for her, the mother, are real. I asked her to think about my proposal and that I’d come home when she was ready—to marry her.
When I went back abroad, I told her daughter everything. Knowing her happy-go-lucky nature, she said she was happy for me and her mom, and wished us luck. She said better me than someone else she didn’t know.
Now, I’ve applied for transfer to a company branch in another country. I want to start a new life with my new love on a clean slate.
I don’t know whether this situation has ever happened. I just never expected to experience it myself.
Your love story won’t raise eyebrows these days. Considering how much the world has changed and is still changing, some situations remain the same, yours included.
It is not as unique as it would have been. This story line has been written about in fiction, made into movies, and even history down the ages have devoted many pages to such scenarios. The elements of the narrative are just retold in various permutations.
There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with the mother of your ersatz girlfriend—especially with what you said about her assets. Her simplicity, coupled with her beauty, must have really floored you. Seeing and meeting many women in your travels, who are loud and leave much to be desired, it is understandable how you could have fallen for someone totally different. She must have seemed like an emotional oasis for you.
To some who would try to split hairs about this, you will no doubt hear tongues wagging against it. One comment you should throw out the window is that it’s improper. It cannot and should not be considered incest because you don’t share bloodlines. You’re basically strangers to each other. Your only connection to her is her daughter, with whom you never were serious to begin with.
Enjoy the love you met and the life you will have with her. Not everyone can be so lucky.