Finding your innermost self | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

To live life to the fullest is everyone’s dream. But is there a formula, a shortcut, a skyway to fast-track our journey and eventual fulfillment of this dream?

The poet Rumi said, “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” These empowering lines are meant to liberate you.

But to do this with greater success, let’s look within. The best place to start is you and your heart.

Before asking yourself what you truly desire, it is wiser to define who you are.

In “The Path to Love” by Deepak Chopra, there is a chapter on practicing love.

Word association

This is a light yet insightful self-quiz. Try it out and be completely honest. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

The first name that comes to mind after you read the entry will give you a clue to your innermost self:

Saintly

Passionate

Kind

Adventurous

Beautiful

Courageous

Tender

Loyal

Handsome

Selfless

Strong

Funny

Innocent

Admirable

Talented

Generous

Adorable

These are 18 possibilities with your answers. No two people will have the same results.

The outcome of this quiz is to guide you more clearly about your image of yourself and your object of love.

Results:

If you have eight fictional answers, there is a strong fantasy component in yourself. If TV/movie stars figure prominently in your answers, then you project the desire to have a “perfect partner.” You may give more value to physical/external attributes rather than spiritual internal aspects.

If more than eight answers are strangers, you have a strong idealistic streak, possibly hero worship. You may subconsciously see a lover as a symbol of hope and rescue, authority or father figure.

If your parents figure in more than five answers, you have childhood models and may not have been able to form a strong definition of love on your own.

If you have more than five “me” answers, you are not answering honestly and may indicate insecurity about loving and being loved.

If you mention the same name in more than five answers, you could be in love with that person.

If your husband/wife or beloved doesn’t appear at least three times in your answers, then it is probably time to address issues in your relationship by opening up communication lines.

Key to knowledge

The purpose of understanding the relevance of association is to recognize the power it has over your own interpretation. It offers, through your answers, a key to knowledge.

This is because false love operates by projection while displacing your personal feelings upon someone else. But it can also mean that you wish to idealize somebody because this is your wish for him or her to be that way.

Projection masks a feeling that you do not want to face or admit. For example, if you complain about a certain negative trait in a person, you might find the same trait hiding in you.

Real-life situations:

1) You feel that your partner is looking at others with sexual interest, but you are the one who might be guilty of this.

2) You cannot stand your boss, but secretly you have an issue with authority figures.

The enlightening fact is that projecting—blaming others, making excuses for yourself by not accepting responsibility for circumstances in your life— means a state of denial.

Seeing your negative self is a big step toward accepting your inadequacies. And in so doing, you begin to embrace all that you can be.

You are the projecting kind if you tend to:

1) Finish other people’s sentences;

2) Become defensive when accused;

3) Ask somebody’s opinion but get angry when the person disagrees with you;

4) You have difficulty reading other people’s face;

5) You often feel misunderstood;

6) You feel threatened by people of authority;

7) You develop a strong dislike for people you have never met.

Recommendation: Get rid of projection so you can distinguish true love from false.

This week’s affirmation: “I claim my all.”

Love and light!

E-mail the columnist: [email protected]

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