We can tell your parents we met in a different way.” A combination of the right things make us swipe right on Tinder—and this profile bio hits the nail on the head.
The message has a certain sincerity of finding a meaningful connection online, leading to something as far as meeting one’s parents. It goes against the common stigma against Tinder, arguably the most popular dating app in the world, which has a reputation as a way to hook up—something that isn’t entirely unwarranted.
A majority of stories we hear from women about the dating app made us reluctant to try it out. One friend found most of the men on Tinder too aggressive and crude. Another can’t get over how “unnatural” using Tinder is.
A lot of people share this belief, even those who haven’t even tried Tinder. But we also heard positive experiences like that of a friend who met her current boyfriend on Tinder after using the app while traveling abroad.
But what is Tinder really? And how does it work?
To set up a profile in Tinder, you’ll have to hook it up to your Facebook account, but don’t worry the rest of the Facebook universe won’t be notified of your Tinder activities.
Tinder has a simple formula for chemistry: proximity, preferred age, preferred gender, mutual interests determined by Facebook page likes and mutual friends. The people that pop on your screens are found on the gray, intersecting area of those key five elements.
And it makes sense, doesn’t it? What most people look for in someone are commonalities—something they share fondness and passion for. Plus, knowing who your mutual friends are not only proves how small the world is once again, but it gives you an idea of what kind of person they could be—it could work as a recommendation or precaution.
You get a match when a person you swiped right to is equally as interested in you. The process of swiping through profiles is done anonymously, so people you said no to won’t know of the pain of rejection. Tinder will only notify you of the good stuff—like letting you know that the same dude you found cute just checked you out and liked your profile as well.
For the more determined users, Tinder also has a “Super Like” feature (blue star button), which bypasses its anonymous protocol. When a user “super likes” your profile, you immediately get notified even if you’ve never seen their faces in the app, or despite the fact that they’re millions of miles away from you.
The team behind the dating app is also continuously developing new features, including being able to play matchmaker on Tinder (share profiles of potential matches with friends) and using the app to plan group parties or hangouts (invite friends to join your group then match with other groups nearby who are also up for a night out).
Full disclosure: We used Tinder for only a little over a month just to see how it works. We weren’t there to get dates (and we noted that in our bios). We didn’t use the app to hook up, but if that’s your purpose for using it, we respect that. Live and let live and all that.
What we discovered is no matter how mediated meeting people on Tinder can be (meaning there is a “medium,” in this case the app, in which an interaction occurs), our experience there still has parallelisms to face-to-face meet-ups.
There’s the grueling small talk (and it’s still darn awkward even on the Tinder chatroom) and the “who will make the first move” dilemma after we got a match. How do we start a conversation that will ensure a reply?
Gaining traction
We realized Tinder, contrary to popular belief, is not 100 percent a hook-up app, at least not in the Philippines. It is fun and lessens the anxiety of meeting people. It’s like playing a deck of cards, only instead of kings and queens or clubs and diamonds, you choose from a deck of guys.
We found ourselves swiping right on guys we have common interests with. He likes the now-defunct Grantland? The person is a keeper. He reads the Inquirer? Heck yes!
What was weird and hilarious was seeing guys we know IRL on the dating app: cousins, former classmates, even people we used to date, plus celebrities, actors, too! It goes to show that Tinder is gaining traction here in our country.
We felt the sting of rejection when a guy unmatched us without even trying to strike up a conversation. Then again, we also rejected some guys who matched with us because of careless and hasty swiping. On Tinder, you can un-match yourself if you change your mind on a certain person. No big deal.
We don’t know about you but we found Tinder’s Super Like function a tad aggressive.
When someone “super likes” you, it means he wants you to know he likes you. It’s like seeing one dude hopping and shouting, “I like you! Like me back!” in a queue of guys. For some, the tactic works, but for us, not so much.
Maintaining a Tinder account is like getting ready for a blind date every day, or to put it more aptly, going to a high school soiree. It won’t hurt to show off your good side and ask your friends about what should stay out of your profile bio.
And let’s be honest: On Tinder, people like what they see, and it does get pretty superficial. You can upload only six photos on Tinder, so make each one count. Good photos make good profiles, and good profiles lead to matches!
Choose your best photo on your camera roll as your main picture. First impressions count, so make sure your first photo catches attention and will make users want to look at your profile.
Don’t expect to get matched with grainy and blurry photos. We want to see your face, in all its glory—so don’t hide your pretty peepers behind sunglasses.
Also, capitalize on your beloved pets. They will make animal lovers automatically swipe right. They make good icebreakers, too. (We added a guy we met on Tinder on Snapchat and Instagram just to see his dogs.)
For the rest of the photos, include some that show us your interests—and Tinder CEO Sean Rad can vouch for this. These photos can be about your profession, places you’ve been to, hobbies and even fandoms. (Wearing a “Nelson & Murdock, Attorneys-at-law” shirt or “S.T.A.R. Labs” hoodie can earn you a new match.)
A photo with your friends or family won’t hurt either. It will make you look friendly and approachable. Just make sure that we can still see your face in the group.
Selfies can be a hit-or-miss on Tinder. Shirtless beach selfies are fine, but shirtless bedroom selfies? Gross. And if your profile contains only gym selfies, it makes us look as if we’re just swiping right because you’ve got nice guns. We already have the Chrises of the Marvel Universe for that.
But one thing is for sure: Too many selfies tell us you’re much too preoccupied with your looks and we’ll probably be swiping left.
Good photos sell, but for Tinder users that need a little more convincing, what you put on your bios seals the deal.
This is the space where you can show off who you are—but please don’t make it look like a resumé or things can get a little too intimidating. Here, you can elaborate on your interests and what currently keeps you busy.
Unique interests make you stand out. There’s also nothing more engaging than someone talking so passionately about a topic. (Yes, please tell us if you used your chemistry degree to brew beer!)
You can also get creative. One Tinder user made his profile look like a description you’d usually find on Google Play or the App Store. It included updates about himself and to know more you’d have to “swipe right to download.”
Bios can be as impressive as “I know my Monet from my Manet” to quirkily quoting a shampoo commercial, saying “have a great hair day!” Even on Tinder, (clean) humor is king.
Also, real “sapiosexuals” (a pretentious term for people who find intelligence attractive) don’t use that term on their profiles. Why not write something on your bio that only fellow sapiosexuals will understand?
More importantly, be upfront in your bios. Stop using all these corny and pa-witty lines, fictional companies (Works at “Krusty Krab,” “Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.,” “E di sa puso mo,” etc.). It doesn’t hurt to check your grammar, subject-verb agreement and spelling, too.
Remember, creating an “attractive” profile is just the first step. If you really want to see if Tinder works for you, you have to put in the time and effort to look for people you like and converse with those who like you back.
Not magical
Don’t kid yourself into believing that Tinder is some magical matchmaker that will make you meet your true love. We’re sure the app didn’t commission Cupid to come up with a lineup of possible matches.
Also, be careful if you decide to meet your Tinder matches in the real world. Make sure you have a couple of security precautions in place before even attempting to meet someone face to face. Inform a friend or a parent about the meeting, make sure they have the contact details and a photo of your Tinder date, be conscious of the time and place of your meeting, etc.
Tinder is supposed to be fun, and it can be. At the end of the day, the best thing about Tinder is it just wants us to get off our bums, maybe even put down our phones and connect with people.