Dear Emily,
I work as a physician-in-training. Despite the hardships, I have everything I want: a condominium (which I share with my boyfriend of four years) and a supportive family. Though it’s been four years, my boyfriend and I agreed to start a family after I finished my two-year training, though he was not yet financially ready to start a family. Everything was perfect, until my boyfriend quit his job as a CPA last July and transferred to a “less toxic” job.
Things began to change after that. He worked in Marikina, but at times had to be assigned to Vigan. I objected to this because we wouldn’t have time for each other anymore. Small talks started to lead to arguments from there.
For two months, I noticed the change in him. He refused to answer my calls or text messages. He would say he was really busy with his new job and I believed him. He morphed into a cold and heartless person. I asked him if he had a girlfriend in Vigan, but he denied it.
One day, he just broke up with me. I was shocked! He said that he didn’t want to be unfaithful to me and that there was a “third party.” He said he was confused and rattled every time I called him. I asked what this woman has that I don’t have and he said she is more beautiful and more understanding. He also said she’s just an “office girl,” who works part time. He said they began dating while he was on an assignment in Marikina.
I felt devastated and heartbroken. I lost my self-confidence. He called me after three days saying that he lost both of us since this woman found out about our relationship. He asked if we could remain friends. His mood was labile.
Everything he said didn’t make sense anymore. I refused any form of communication with him. I just want to forget him and move on with my life, but it’s too hard for me because of my feeling toward him.
TRAUMATIZED GIRLFRIEND
Forget being a physician for a minute and using medical terms like “labile” in describing your boyfriend. Admit the bottom line—that he is not into you anymore! He has fallen out of love with you, how much plainer do you want it said? Why beat around the bush? It is what it is.
It is a fact that human beings are never content with what they have. Remember the lyrics, “…the sunshine’s better on the other side…?” Your boyfriend had too much of a good thing going for him the last four years—a roof over his head, food in his stomach, and he didn’t have to go to the salt mines to do that for himself.
Man is a natural hunter. But all this guy must have hunted those four years where probably just finding where he left his slippers. There wasn’t much excitement happening all that time, and when he changed his scenery, he found it in this office girl who was so unlike you. Voila! A challenge right there!
Just be grateful that he felt guilty enough to make that hard confession. Wouldn’t you like knowing it now, having been spared a long-playing song and dance from him, rather than later when wounds could have been more painful? Thank the heavens for small favors!
Now, be the physician that you are and heal yourself. Time will help you along the way.
(emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com—Subject: Lifestyle)