Dear Emily,
I’ve been a widow for 11 years, with three grown-up kids; one is married and the other two are professionals. I had a relationship six years ago, and my kids rejected him. It ended after I chose my kids over him. Then I met another man a decade older than me who understands everything about my family, and has proposed marriage two years into our relationship.
He is a foreigner and has agreed to stay in the Philippines instead of us settling abroad after he saw how close our family is. Some have again disagreed with this relationship, but I have decided to do what will make me happy. I have been alone for the past 10 years, have worked hard in my job, and my only leisure activities have been watching TV and visiting my kids.
Isn’t it time for me to be selfish for myself after being selfless to everyone I love?
DYNASTY 62
Yes, be selfish. How else can you care for others if you don’t care for yourself as well? At this age and time, are you still being stymied by family and friends from following your heart’s desires? Why? Do you owe any of them hearth and home, to keep you from having a life with this man?
Surely you’ve reached that age of reason that’ll enable you to pursue the life that will make you happy? Family and friends can only suggest so much to fill up or change your mind. But in the end, it’s all up to you, alone, to go full steam ahead with your plans.
How can outsiders have the audacity to dictate how people like you plan their lives, no matter how much they care or how honorable their intentions are? The most they can do is suggest gently and bug off in the end. Unless, of course, your intended partner is a wanted criminal registered in the Interpol database, which you’re totally unaware of. But other than that, please!
Go ahead. Do it as a favor to yourself to weigh in everything—the pros, the cons, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything else in between. Make that decision where you won’t be putting a hole in your head later on. After doing your homework judiciously, start first by being generous and magnanimous at home. That means you.