Love letters, ‘telebabad,’ delayed surprise–what we had that millennials are missing out on

In the ’50s and ’60s, women wore made-to-order clothes sewn by their “costurera.”
In the ’50s and ’60s, women wore made-to-order clothes sewn by their “costurera.”

 

We are in Tagaytay with my college buddies on one of the many outings we’ve been having this year, in honor of balikbayan classmates who came for this year’s homecoming.

The lunch is special, courtesy of Lisa Macuja-Elizalde for classmates of her mom, Susan Macuja. An invitation from Lisa usually includes transporting all of us in the Ballet Manila coaster with cold bottled water and cocktail sandwiches and munchies galore served onboard. It’s beyond first class, what can I say?

After a tour of the fabulous Elizalde mansion, humbly called bahay-na-bato, atop the second highest mountain in Tagaytay (perched on the highest is Imelda’s palace in the sky) with its magnificent view of the whole city from its highest balcony, we settle down at the massive wooden table. Halfway through the meal of bulalo, chili crabs, hilabos na hipon, chopsuey, pancit bihon, inihaw na liempo and fried tawilis, we get to talking about how truly lucky and blessed we all are for our friendship—and for having been young together at, for us, just the right time.

Ours was a different time, and, from our senior perspective, the millennials have missed out on some of the good things then that we treasure to this day.

Susie Diez-Rueda: “Look at us, we’re still friends. How long has it been? We’ve celebrated the Emerald Jubilee (55th anniversary) of our college graduation! I think millennials are missing out on the intimacy of proper personal conversations. I value that. Having intimate friends is so important for my personal happiness.”

Enya Hernando-Tomas: “They may be connected to far more people through the Internet but there’s nothing like babad on the phone with a close friend; of course, there was a chance of the party line interrupting or, worse, listening in. But that was somehow managed with give and take.”

Susan Pacheco-Macuja: “And we never, never called the boys, God forbid! Courtship was done at home.”

Baby Vergara-Ang: “Millennials will never realize the lasting and emotional value of love letters—wala pang text or e-mail, thank God! I still have Sammy’s.”

Susan: I, too, kept all of Cesar’s. Some of them still make me blush!”

Enya: “We slow-dragged to Sinatra’s and Perry Como’s crooning, sang along with Joni James, boogied in our voluminous skirts, underlain by petticoats, and we did so with dance partners who could lead! Did we have any ambition? We were so carefree. All we wanted was to dance! Remember those dances? Garage turned into a barn? And the magic of borax [powder sprinkled on the dance floor to make dancing feet float].”

Baby: “I remember we were so resourceful we’d collect hay from the fields. We lived in Vergara, in Quiapo, and felt we owned that street: We closed it during parties. Everybody in the neighborhood did.”

Susan: “None of us were super rich, yet we had dresses made to measure, had shoes and bags made to match them. Terno-terno: Yellow dress, yellow shoes, yellow bag.”

Baby: “Millennials find out anything fast by Googling. Their curiosity is immediately satisfied. No more surprises, no sense of anticipation or wonder. We learned about things slowly and appreciated the discovery more.”

Enya: “We never worried about the future. We didn’t plan at all!”

Baby: “And yet after college we all got good jobs, easily! And soon enough we all got married. Millennials aren’t that secure about their future. That’s probably why they marry later.”

Susie: “The millennials are more deliberate. It’s not as easy for them to get into good companies. Many of us started at Caltex, right after graduation. Well, there were fewer people then, fewer job seekers. Competition wasn’t as stiff. Millennials are a lot smarter about money than we were, but we learned enough, on the job. Life was easy and the good life was not an impossible dream.”

 

Read more...