European boyfriend tells her he’s not a ‘visa boy’ | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

Dear Emily,


I met a European guy in his city during my trip to the continent. It was an instant, deep connection. We fell in love and agreed on a long-distance relationship. He called us “best friends and life partners.”


It was the only time I really fell in love—an answered prayer. He’s a physics engineer,  a techno DJ-music producer, and comes from a wealthy family. We’re both in our 30s, with stable jobs. Secure and equals—or so I thought.


He suggested I go back there to meet his family and friends who know about us. I said I’d have to fix some issues first, like fare and office leave. He said he’s scared of going to Manila because of his country’s travel order against the Philippines.


On managing our new relationship, I told him we’ll eventually settle in his county. He said he is not a “visa boy,” which I found insulting. Next day, he said he had “met someone.” He apologized and unfriended me on social media.


I was a wreck. I never communicated with him again and his subsequent messages were left unanswered, but I didn’t have the heart to block him.


After a few months, he said he’s “ready to send an invitation letter,” regrets everything, and asks for forgiveness. His notes say he wants me back.


I’ve been so stressed out, but somehow, I miss him. Should I give in, give him another chance, or just take a deep breath and block him off for good?




Don’t sell yourself short—he is not your equal! He is a man-child who felt giddy at his first meeting with an interesting woman, had a quick change of heart and, pronto, hid under a rock seeking escape.


Obviously, his high education and wealth did not guarantee maturity—in a relationship you mistook for love. He missed the chance of discovering the wealth of adventure you could have ushered him into. His loss.


He may be your first love, but surely, he won’t be your last. That’s just a fact of life. Learn from your hurt. Let that unfortunate opening gambit prepare you in encountering a few more deserving loves and their many facets and phases. Simply move on.


If you can’t help pining, make him win you back assiduously. Let him prove his mettle. He must learn that this relationship is not a child’s game of peek-a-boo!


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