Behind every successful man, as the saying goes, is a woman. Trite as it may sound, that’s what Nancy dela Rosa is to Philippine National Police Director General Ronald dela Rosa or commonly called “Bato.”
They have been married for 29 years, have two daughters and a son—all done with college and are now into their second course.
Macky, who joined her mother at our dinner, is the second to the eldest and is completing her military pilot training with the Philippine Air Force.
She graduated from Ateneo de Davao University with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration degree, a major in Business Management and Banking/Finance.
Nancy struck us as so simple and down to earth—what you see is what you get. In the crowd you’d not guess that Bato’s wife is in the house.
In a rather straightforward way, she answers our questions:
What attracted you to your husband?
Actually, I did not have a choice. (laughs)
Why?
Most of my friends had gotten married already and I was the only one left. Sabi nila, paano mo napasagot ’yan? Eh maganda ako noong araw na ’yon. Marrying age before was 22, 23. Sabi ko, it’s now or never.
Are you the jealous type?
He is. (Shyly giggles)
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. What is your secret to a successful, happy marriage?
He just happens to be my soul mate. There’s no secret. Soul mate ko talaga siya. We’re in the same wave length, tapos kahit iniisip ko pa lang, ginawa na niya.
Parang ’yung ex ko! (Laughs together) After all these years, what don’t you like about your husband that you know you can never change?
Hmm, wala masyado, but to me he’s almost perfect.
Macky: Wow, ang haba ng buhok mo Mommy! (laughs) Nakaka-bitter eh!
What do you do when your husband displeases you? Do you give him the cold treatment? Do you deprive him of…
(Laughs) How I wish! Most of the time I’m silent. But nothing will happen if I keep quiet. Although he would feel that I am. But I talk to him, we talk about the problem and how we can solve the problem.
Being married to a general, do you own a gun? Are you good at using it? And who taught you to use one?
I have a gun. (About to put out her gun and show it to us)
I had guns even before I met him. Before I used to have pictures na may dala akong mga Armalite. But now na married na kami, I have lots of guns under my name. I have my own license.
Are you good at using it?
Specially when I’m mad. Even with a 1×1 picture kayang kaya kong tamaan.
Talaga? I’ve always wanted to learn.
It’s easy. It’s just because of his job, a neccessity. Dapat marunong ako.
Being married to a general, would you consider yourself a typical housewife? Or a liberated woman?
I’m a blessed, happy wife. Not the regular wife, na I do the house chores. He takes good care of me.
I may not do the house chores, but when it comes to the kids, I’m very hands on.
There’s this worldwide movement, #MeToo, where women are calling out men who abuse them. Are there women in the PNP, directly or indirectly exploited by men?
Definitely, it’s not limited to the PNP. It’s everywhere.
Is anything being done about it?
The PNP has the Women and Child’s Help Protection Desk.
Do you worry about the safety of your family?
Always, because of his work.
What are the most important values you teach your children?
Kindness. Be kind. And ’yung blessed tayo, hindi para solohin ’yung blessing but to share the blessing, and be a blessing to others.
Do you believe that divorce should be legalized?
Personally, legal or not legal is beside the point. More on relationships, kung hindi kayo magkasundo, mag hiwalay kayo ng maayos. No point in staying in the relationship if you are both unhappy. It doesn’t have to be legalize.
How will you react if and when you discover your grandchild, for instance, is gay?
For me, it’s no big deal these days as compared before. It’s not for me to judge. He or she is my child, and that is my grandchild. It wouldn’t mean that I would love him less. Support na lang. Kasi kahit naman ano siya, bigay pa rin naman siya sa amin.
My husband? Pride. It’s his pride that will get in the way but in the end ’yung love, mas mangingibabaw sa pride.
Are you for same-sex marriage?
Honestly, it’s still new to me. But I watched a movie earlier, “Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes,” it was good! In the end, the two men were together. I guess it’s okay. They are happy, they didn’t kill anyone. So, it’s okay.
Who are your male heroes? Other than your father, husband, God and the President.
There is no one but my husband. (laughs) Just my husband.
Who is the woman you admire most in history?
Mother Teresa. I had a picture with Mother Theresa when I was 18, with the Missionaries of Charity. And then my son was born on Aug. 27, the same birthday as Mother Teresa.
What is happiness to you?
Happiness is contentment with what you have. Because when you are not content, you will never be happy.
Are you worried about your husband’s next position in government? Because it’s a problem that’s never been solved. How can you jail the big fish?
I have full faith in my husband. Especially in the Lord. I am confident that the Lord will be with us every step of the way.
How do you deal with intrigues concerning your husband?
He knows how to deal with it. I do not know what lies ahead. It’s up to him.
Would you like him to run for senator?
I don’t like it. I’ve been telling him, what for? I’d prefer that he retires and we both relax. You [can] say that people will be disappointed because he is still needed in service. Almost half of his life he’s been serving, maybe now we can relax. Enjoy the fruits of you labor. There’s the pension, retirement pay.
Any plans where you both want to retire?
Go home to Davao.
What do you want to tell people who like to criticize the government about extra-judicial killings?
I’m not sure. These extra-judicial killings are not true. It’s like they made it up just so they can bring down the administration.
What is on your bucket list?
At this point, I’m already contented with my life. Nothing more to ask for. I just wish that all my children get married already and give us apo. Not much on travel. Just the happy, contented and quiet life.
Was your husband ever associated with another woman?
My husband is a policeman, he is not Pope Francis.
How do you deal with that? Give me some tips please.
Best way to really do it is to talk to your husband. But thankfully, nothing really malala. More of he would be “linked” with something, but nothing serious. He’s very loving to me and my children. I sometimes joke, kung pwede lang kita pagawan ng rebulto, ako na ang magpapagawa! He’s that caring to us. A family man. —CONTRIBUTED