Dear Emily,
The father of the son I bore in high school, who was not permitted to marry me or see his child while my parents were alive because his family was very poor, is now doing well in his business. He owns a successful construction company in our province and is well-respected. He is married with two grown daughters.
My family’s karma caught up with us. We lost what little we had. I had to move to Manila after my son’s birth and raised him among relatives who employed me in their business.
I need his help now for our son. He found out from nasty relatives that he was the bastard of a rich man who has never seen him because his mother was too proud to ask for help while he was growing up.
My son went around with shady people because I was constantly working and couldn’t look after him. He became a drug addict along the way and stopped going to school. He is now 38 and I feel hopeless for him.
The father of my son and I were each other’s first love. Despite how my family treated him, he still wanted us to be a family after I gave birth. But that was a very long time ago and we’ve led our own separate lives since.
I am hoping there’s still a drop of affection he has for me—if only to save our son. He knows I have never asked him, and will never ask him for anything. But, should I swallow my pride now and bring his son to meet him, and help him—however late it is? – Regretful
Answer:
Nothing is ever too late to change—until you’re six feet under. The father of your son, if he is truly the person you think he is, would want to help his own flesh and blood, no questions asked. If he’d known of his son’s predicament earlier, he could have been there and probably been the father he had wanted to be from the start. There’s no way he could have turned his back on him, ever.
Is it only your pride that is preventing you for eating humble pie and bringing those two people together? Haven’t you heard the saying, “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted?” It means being true to yourself, being humble and doing what is right, no matter what others may think.
Forget pride! It’s bonkers, it’s useless, it’s irrelevant and has not done anybody good!
Now is not the time to listen to the madding crowd. You need help and there is someone who will help you gladly without fear or recrimination. You owe it to your son to alter his life—big time—before it gets too late.
(emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com)