“Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it.” –Emily Dickinson

 

Writer-journalist Cielo Roque Lutz, who once edited the martial law era magazine Woman’s Home Companion in the ’70s, could have easily just compiled her favorite articles and reviews in one volume.

 

But no, she chose the harder path of memoir writing, a tell-all one that discloses, among others, a failed first marriage, single-handedly raising four daughters—one of whom got pregnant at age 20 and had to give her baby away for adoption, another who came out to her mother as a bisexual, another who had an abortion—then relocating with her new American husband to Nigeria before finally settling down in Pennsylvania where she now resides in Amish country.

 

Parting gift

 

“I read the memoir of my husband David’s aunt about 25 years ago and thought a memoir would be a great parting gift for parents to give their children,” Lutz said.

“I started interviewing my parents to write their memoir for them, but this did not go very far. When I retired 12 years ago, my girls encouraged me to start my memoir, which I had kept on threatening to write. My reply: ‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I knew that the memoir I was going to write would include the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

“Five or so years ago, I read a memoir by Michelle Tea. It was interesting, it read like a novel and was as frank as frank can be. That was the type of memoir I wanted to write.”

 

Her first draft came up to 107,000 words. She wrote with the aid of her diaries and letters to her parents and friends. It took her three years of continuous  deleting, expanding, tightening and clarifying to come up with a presentable draft of 70,000 words.

 

Originally, the project was intended just for her daughters and grandchildren. But it “became THE MEMOIR,” she said. “I was now writing it for myself, too, trying to understand what I did, why I allowed things to happen, what was the use of this life I carved out for myself.

 

“Throughout this process, I asked family, friends and colleagues to read and tell me what they thought. They had conflicting opinions about what to change and what to keep, but they shared the same view: Publish the book. My daughters imposed one caveat. They wanted fictitious names to keep their father’s identity, their men and their own secrets.”

Spill secrets

 

It took Lutz two more years to gather courage “to spill secrets and reveal not pretty truths about the girls and me,” she said. Journalist Vergel O. Santos acted as her “final arbiter and editor,” and this gave her peace. Even her daughters eventually gave their consent to be named in the book.

 

Asked who influenced her in her early and later writing, Lutz said, “All honor and glory go to Milagros de la Merced Racelis, my second year high school English teacher. She made me decide to take up journalism instead of medicine.

 

“Growing up, I loved the literary writers of Great Britain all the way back to Dickens and Hardy.

 

“I loved poets Edith Sitwell, T.S. Eliot, Gerard Manley Hopkins. I read everything Nick Joaquin and Kerima Polotan wrote. I idolized fellow Theresian writers Carmen Guerrero Nakpil and Gilda Cordero Fernando.”

 

She added, “Then I became a magazine feature writer, ever heedful of deadlines and word counts, then a copy editor conscious of clear, concise writing and inch counts. How I write today isn’t how I wrote before I became a working journalist.”

 

Lutz said she also looked up to “strong women, unpretentious women, women who say it as it is, women who can look at you head on, women who can stand alone. Oh my. I am describing Mothers Laurentina, Ignacia, Norbert, Anunciata. I am a Belgian nun in disguise!”

 

Yearly visits

 

Now that she’s retired, her activities include: drinking coffee, pruning the flower garden, playing professional Scrabble, singing as a member of the Lancaster Symphony Orchestra Chorus, visiting family and friends.

 

She has made yearly visits to the Philippines, although the traffic and heat overwhelm her. She loves living in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

 

“It’s quiet and relaxed, just like living on Agno Street, Quezon City (where she grew up). I like to garden, read, watch BBC, Masterpiece Theater, CNN and ‘Game of Thrones’ and its ilk.

 

“If I miss city life, I take the three-hour bus ride to Manhattan to visit St. Theresa’s College High School classmates who reside there. We see an opera, a Broadway show, a play, an art exhibit, we eat and laugh loudly and unselfconsciously. And then I take the midnight bus home again.”

 

Her next project is something she had started six years ago—writing a novel with the Fernandezes of Cuyo, Palawan (from her maternal side), as the models.

 

“Of course, as in any novel, all similarities to persons living or dead will be strictly coincidental,” she added, laughing.

 

Cielo Lutz’s memoir is titled “Keeping It Together.”