Dear Emily,
I was in a toxic relationship with a boyfriend for a little over 15 years. I met him in a party and our chemistry was instant. But, after the passion cooled off, his true colors came out. He was a drunk, womanizer, a creep, such that I prayed every moment to be rid of him. Fifteen years later, my prayers were answered. He fell for another. My wallet and I couldn’t believe we were freed of that monster. From then, it was liberating not to hear 747-sounding snores, or worry about other women giving me STDs.
Why am I now again swooning over a relationship I swore never to get into, ever? Went to this party I didn’t want to go to, and locked eyeballs with someone I fell for in minutes. It’s been over a year now that I still go crazy when I see him, miss him when we’re apart, and even dream of him in my waking hours. Our romance is still in the early stages, with nothing to complain about, but I am already hatching my escape. He tells me it’s going to be different this time and that I will never regret meeting him. Is it wrong to be cynical, suspicious or negative? Am I proof of the saying, “Once bitten, twice shy?”
FOOL FOR LOVE
When you swore men off, did you turn into stone? Or have you remained a human being who laughs, cries, feels pain— and whose emotions stayed intact? If you keep looking back at the past every step of the way, you will surely give yourself a black eye by tumbling down or even eventually breaking your neck. All metaphors, but true. Life is meant to be lived forward, not backward. That’s why eyes are in the front of the face. Even our toes are pointing forward, if you’ve noticed.
Enjoy life! Don’t you feel lucky you’re being given another chance at love? Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say. Accept this new relationship with an open mind and heart. Don’t preempt it or look forward to a heartache that may not even be in the cards.
Take one step at a time. Or one breath at a time. Or one day at a time. Why even bother with yesterday? It’s gone, kaput, passed. Today is your only chance at happiness—so squeeze the 24 hours given to you for all they’re worth. And tomorrow? Don’t even worry about it. It’s still in the works.
E-marcelo@inquirer.com.ph, emarcelo629@gmail.com.