What is it about weddings that make one all misty-eyed and sentimental? I cry even when I don’t know the people at the altar. It must be the intimacy and drama of the moment.
Here are two people who are “forsaking all others” and committing to love and cherish until death. That is serious stuff. They are signing a contract of marriage.
That is what happens at a wedding, and when the rites are over, the marriage starts.
I love the music! My mother sang at numerous weddings in her time. She always did “Ave Maria” by Francisco Santiago. Did you know that once upon a time songs like “Because” and “Oh Promise Me” were banned from church weddings?
It’s just that at the time, music and liturgy had to be in sync. I remember you had to get a dispensation to play them in church at all. Things have changed. From folksy to downright cheesy, anything goes at weddings today.
I do miss, however, the traditional marches; the bride’s entrance from Wagner’s “Lohengrin” and the “Wedding March” by Felix Mendelssohn.
I didn’t mean to make this a wedding piece. But the past two weeks have all been about rings and flowers, white lace and promises; about vows made or renewed.
51st year
A couple of old friends celebrated their 51st year together. Odd? Well, Fred and Jojo have a home in Virginia but wanted to celebrate where they had taken the original plunge. So here they were a year late and raring to celebrate. They also may have heard that it’s more fun in the Philippines.
Whatever the reason, they had an intimate, “no more than 30 people” lunch in Quezon City. Friends and a few cousins gathered for toasts and good food. Jokes and anecdotes were affectionately shared.
The menu was simple but tasty. The stories were spicy.
Some couples get to that ripe old milestone and get dressed in all shades of gold. They do the whole ceremony over again, this time with more pomp and fanfare than the first time around. No expense is spared for the celebration. There is nothing wrong with that, of course.
But my friends insisted there would be no renewal of vows, the longevity of their union being confirmation enough. They dispensed with the “gold” motif. Instead, they personally saw that each guest felt the warmth and welcome of their friendship, more precious than gold indeed.
We pored over albums of photographs taken on their wedding day. How young we all looked. No one needed Botox. There were familiar faces on those faded pages of friends no longer with us, but still fondly remembered.
Wishes were warm and heartfelt. In response, the groom stood up and remembered the day he met his wife. His tribute was touching. The bride sat quietly and blushed a little. She shed happy tears.
It is amazing what people talk about at gatherings like these. Some complain of aches and pains, others boast about their latest blood sugar reading or graphically describe their recent bypass/transplant. I believe these are the real senior moments.
An act of kindness to remember at these events: When meeting someone, don’t expect him to know who you are. Do him a favor: smile and say your name. He will do the same for you.
Silver anniversary
A week later, I was at a silver anniversary. I was a sponsor at this one, 25 years ago. The nostalgia continued.
This was a party! It started with cocktails, followed by a mass where vows were renewed, and then a sumptuous buffet dinner. There was a wedding planner, a cake, a dance band, a floorshow, video presentation, the whole works.
Ed and Cecile struggled when they started a family, but today, with their three children, happily enjoy and share the rewards of their hard work. I remember how worried their parents were about the future. But that’s what parents do.
Our little girl
Then, on January 5th, our little girl married her best friend.
There is something about a wedding that stirs the heart. Whether or not you are a hopeless romantic (like me), you can’t deny that from somewhere in the remotest corner of even the most embittered heart, a sigh escapes and, unbidden, the tears flow at the sight of the bride.
They say all brides are beautiful, and this one looked like she had stepped out of a dream.
As she came down the aisle with her parents, the string ensemble played “Amazing Grace.” The nervous groom at the altar quietly asked his best man to tell the photographers to leave the middle aisle. “I want to see my bride!”
After that elegant walk, she stepped into a brand-new chapter in her life. The pastor reminded her parents that at that very moment, the responsibility for nurturing and protecting their daughter was no longer theirs, but now belonged to the groom. Yes, there is that scriptural mandate to “leave father and mother to cleave to one another….”
But truth be told, parents don’t ever relinquish that role. There may be physical distance, a geographical abyss even, but their hearts never really let go. Never.
When Jay and Dani spoke their vows, there was no doubt they had written those beautiful promises themselves. They shed copious tears and had eyes only for one another.
At this wedding, the words of Aristotle seemed to come alive: “Love is composed of a single soul, inhabiting two bodies.”
A week before the wedding, a video was put together by the bride’s brother with words of wisdom for the newlyweds from friends and family.
When my turn came, I felt very unsure of what to say. My track record told me that I should be the last one to give advice. But perhaps the bumps on my head (or are they in my heart?) have served for something. We were allowed just one or two lines.
Here are mine: This is “for love!” “For life” just follows.